Bat Adapted

AT_Adapters
While supplies last, or so I’m led to believe based on the discounted price, one, such as you, could adapt your large hole 45s with these stylish, slightly non-conformist plastic adapters. Featuring the classic Alternative Tentacles logo we all know and love, this set of three comes in translucent red, reflective silver, and reflective gold. I ordered two sets myself, because for $3 per set, why the hell not? Adapt your baby records with style, courtesy of Alternative Tentacles Records.

Adapt

Adapters

As the alarm jingles you into the consciousness of another daft, tedious and overly hyped day filled with false promises of hope and certainty, you desperately plead with the unknown for a few lasting moments of peace and comfort. You don’t get them. You know your atrocious cries will go unheard, just as they always have. There is something to be said for consistency, even if it’s a bleeding string of expletives.

The strong amongst us will unplug that screaming alarm, give it a sunken, lasting stare filled with decades full of animosity and confusion, then proceed to slay the mighty beast of disruption by smashing it repeatedly against the fish tank before victoriously returning to bed. Those of use who are left… the weak… adapt.

To adapt, we must admit that we don’t fit. We must come to terms that, one way or another, we are that lonely cluster of shredded wheat that fell to the floor and has gone unnoticed for close to six days… a lifetime, as it seems. To adapt is to surrender your instincts, to follow the dangling carrot of quantity by abandoning the carrot cake of quality. But in doing so, we are granted the gilded gift of repetition, and with it, the chance to put off obsoleteness for one more day.

Can you tell I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning?