Do you know what time it is? Don’t look at your clock, or if you’re one of those book-reading types, don’t look at the sun, this is a rhetorical question here. What time is it?! It’s Fun Time, dammit! And what’s better than Fun Time when it’s performed by the great and almighty Bruce Willis? Well, there’s actually quite a bit better than the great and almighty Bruce Willis performing Fun Time, but we’ll ignore that for now.
Manufactured, packaged, distributed, displayed and purchased in 1982, this Stylus Care System includes a retractable critical density brush and magnifying mirror extension that lives inside a bold, wooden handle. This system also includes 10ml (.34 fl oz) of the “not safe for children” SC-2 Stylus Cleaning Fluid. Both elements that make up this Care System are essential for the longevity of your phonograph records, your stylus, and your hopes of getting lucky this Saturday night.
You must be asking yourself, “With a system so advanced, surely I must obtain a PhD in Record Care in order to operate this complex invention.” Au contraire, my fellow-filthy-fidelity (FFF) owner! Just adhere to the following three, easy steps below, and your days of sub-par audio quality will be as forgettable as Bruce Willis’ singing career.
1. Empty the entire 10ml bottle of SC-2 Stylus Cleaning Fluid onto the dime-sized, critical density brush. Don’t worry if you spill. Think of this procedure as brushing the teeth of your turntable. Except, your turntable has been neglecting proper oral care and is only down to one, groove-hungry tooth.
Warning: Do not brush your own teeth with SC-2 Stylus Cleaning Fluid.
2. Using the critical density brush, gently brush the turntable tooth (stylus) using “rear to front action only.” You don’t want to brush from side to side. Doing so will result in a broken turntable, no audio pleasure, and a lonely Saturday night. The Prudent Groove will not be held responsible if these words of warning go ignored.
Warning: Do not use your tooth brush to clean your stylus.
3. Using the magnifying mirror (conveniently located on the reverse side of the critical density brush), inspect the gleaming smile of your freshly cleaned turntable tooth (stylus). If there remains any “fuzz,” simply throw your turntable into the garbage and purchase another.
Leaps and bounds above the primitive SC-1 (not sure if this exists), the SC-2 Stylus Care System will help to ensure long, lasting, neighbor-disturbing music for years to come.
(A special thanks to Pat & Dennis for this amazing gift.)