Tag Archives: G.I. Joe

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Frankie Say War! Hide Yourself

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AnnihalationIs that a Ronald Reagan look-alike grabbing his nether regions in apocalyptic agony? Why, yes, it is. Following the international success of their first single, Relax, Frankie Goes to Hollywood released the anti-war, half tongue-in-cheek, half a bit-too-close-to-home, funk-friendly dance anthem, Two Tribes.

Accompanied by an outrageous video, Two Tribes broke a whole bunch of UK chart records that, at the time, I was completely oblivious to. To be fair, in 1984 my daily routine consisted of dropping my Bespin Han Solo action figure from a covered bridge in a suicidal leap just in time for my electric train to speed by and run him over. Han survived, and was able to go on fighting the good fight (that was, until Joe & Cobra infiltrated my childhood just a few short years later).

ReaganFocusing on the hyper-exaggerated (he said jokingly) possibility of global nuclear war, Frankie & crew regurgitated a positive product from an extremely negative scenario. If you ask me, and you didn’t, Two Tribes withstood the test of time, and should serve as a welcome accompaniment to any record collection, regardless of which side of the fence your political beliefs may fall.

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Post 69: The Way to Groove and the Way to Suck Eggs

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ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ

Officially titled ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ, Ministry’s 1992 release is often referred to by its alternate banner: Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs. Industrial Metal’s junky grandfathers, Al Jourgensen and Paul Barker (Hypo Luxa and Hermes Pan, their respected aliases as music producers), close out their undeniable stint of groundbreaking Industrial Metal with this, the third major release by the Jourgensen/Barker brigade. Ministry had been releasing New Wave BS since 1983, but it’s unlistenable. They REALLY didn’t start until Barker joined in 1988. “We call it, the departure point.” – Bruce McCulloch

Starting with 1988’s The Land of Rape and Honey, and continuing with 1989’s The Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Taste, 1990’s In Case You Didn’t Feel Like Showing Up (their live, and best in my opinion), and finally with 1992’s ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ, Ministry single handedly created the iconic Industrial Metal sound. Pretty boy Trent Reznor and his vastly inferior NIИ be damned! About the only ups Mr. Reznor had was that he could control his heroin habit, thus granting him more commercial success. (I still can’t take Nine Inch Nails seriously, but I will admit their viral campaign for Year Zero was pretty amazing.)

ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ starts with the Grammy nominated N.W.O. (losing out to pretty boy’s Wish), followed by Just One Fix (the 12” cover to this single features the William S. Burroughs painting, Last Chance Junction and Curse on Drug Hysterics, btw).

photo(1)Track 3 is the second in the TV series. A collection of various samples from obscure television shows set to a bed of Industrial thorns. TV III, the non-album track on 1995’s The Fall single is arguably my favorite Ministry song, but that’s a post for another time.

Track 4 features samples from the hit 80’s cartoon, G.I. Joe, and is titled, Hero. Jesus Built My Hotrod follows, then comes arguably the only skippable track on the album, track 6’s Scarecrow. This unfortunate cloud is quickly lifted and all but forgotten by the title track, Psalm 69… clearly the climax of the album.

Corrosion and Grace round out the album, offering well deserved breathers after an intense, Industrial workout.

ΚΕΦΑΛΗΞΘ, or Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs is by far not Ministry’s best, but it does neatly sum up an unparalleled 5-year adventure, unimagined by anyone before, and untouched by anyone since.

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Saturday Morning Cartoons

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JoesTOP SECRET

Saturday mornings will forever be synonymous with cartoons. Not having grown up in any other decade than the 1980’s, I can’t confidently suggest that you agree, but you should.

Even though I have no recollection of the Joes battling Cobra on Saturday mornings (I do however remember rushing home from school to catch back-to-back episodes every weekday during my early elementary years), whenever I think of cartoons my mind ALWAYS turns to G.I. Joe. So, you can imagine how elated I was upon finding these action-packed LP’s.

Nothing kicks off the weekend better than listening to “FOUR EXCITING ACTION ADVENTURES featuring G.I. Joe and the entire Special Missions Force!” Its purpose: To defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world (He never gives, he’ll stay til’ the fight’s won…). That theme song is as fresh in my mind as the smell from opening a new G.I. Joe action figure. Ahhh, the aroma of 1980’s chemical soaked kid toys.

Well, even if you’re not a fan of Joe (you were probably way more into Transformers) I suggest revisiting your favorite childhood cartoons and/or record related tie-ins.

Sincerely,

Zartan

Joe Back