It is the Fourth of July.
Well, when you find a masterpiece such as this legendary, holiday hootenanny, The Perry Como Christmas Album, at Goodwill for a cool 100 pennies, and need to listen to EVERY record before it gets filed away into the fold, Christmas just may happen to appear on a random Tuesday evening. I mean, why the hell not?! If you don’t feel the need to question Perry Como’s majestic smile disturbingly placed in the center of a frosted Christmas wreath, then chances are you’ve already purchased your ticket and are strategically eyeing your window seat on the crazy bus. Yes I listened to this album in its entirety, and yes, I’m okay with admitting that.
Today, as you ford across the violent sea of flailing limbs and bargain-hunting rage, don’t miss our once-in-a-lifetime-actually-once-in-a-year sale to end all sales! That’s right! As if you haven’t already heard, The Prudent Groove is having a 24-minute sale on everything in our store! Check out the “Store” button on the top for your chance to save THOUSANDS on Prudent Groove swag! Newly added to the online store are Prudent Groove t-shirts (sizes XS – M) available in both blood red and midnight black, The Prudent Groove hummingbird feeder, The Prudent Groove flower pots (complete with grade A Prudent Groove soil), The Prudent Groove candles available in the following delicious scents: wet dog, bong water, and burnt fish, The Prudent Groove red wine vinegar and extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil set, and The Prudent Groove jumper cables, to name just a few.
The holidays are right around the corner, down a block, and sandwiched between the recently closed VHS only video rental store and the Hardware Hank, so do yourself a favor. Save your time, money, and any last glimpses of sanity and complete all your year end shopping in one easy click. The Prudent Groove store, your new favorite place for all the things you never knew you never wanted.
Sometimes you visit family and friends in the wooded, open-air state in which you grew up. Sometimes you cry from laughing so hard, you wear stocking hats in the early afternoon, you run the same route you did in High School Cross-Country, and sometimes you eat a whole, 1/3 box of Honey Maid graham crackers in one sitting.
Sometimes you throw away tiny mementos of your childhood to make room for tiny mementos of your adulthood, you discover a workman’s jacket your grandfather used to wear, you weave and dodge deer crossing rural roads at night, you attempt to snap pictures of the house cat chasing a chipmunk from the kitchen to the dining room and back, while your parents scurry from room to room attempting to get the poor zoo creature out of the house, you enjoy a severe thunderstorm, you visit your grandmother’s new apartment, you adjust to the idea of your grandmother living in an apartment, you drink countless, hearty cocktails, and eat at all your favorite restaurants that Los Angeles reluctantly ignores.
Sometimes you visit Half Price Books and find the soundtrack to Fellini’s 8 ½ for $2.99, you get your picture taken with your favorite MLB mascot, you delightfully peruse your parents’ record collection, you laugh ad nauseam with friends you haven’t seen in nearly 8 years, you play with cats, and you create new memories with which to bring up and enjoy in the future.
Sometimes you play Atari and drink Wisconsin’s finest beer with your girlfriend while laughing hysterically, you enjoy a bucket of balls at the driving range with your father, you play games at the kitchen table and your mother adorably invents a number of priceless one-liners, you build a bonfire, you visit the lake in which you learned to swim, and you wonder why you don’t visit more often.
Sometimes… it’s good to go home.