This is 1959, and size matters. Until the launch of “the remarkable Everest sound”, we’ve all been, collectively and obliviously, shortchanged when it comes to the quality of our audio recordings. You see, standard tape size for recording audio (that will later be transferred, then pressed into a platter spinning, groove disc) is ¼” or 6.35mm. Conventional stereo recording is ½” or 12.7mm (feel free to view the picture for tape scale). But Everest, with its 1) No distortion from print through, 2) No distortion from lack of channel width, 3) Absolute minimum of “wow or flutter”, 4) Highest possible signal to noise ratio, and 5) Greatest quality and dynamic range ever recorded, well tape stock used by Everest clocks in at a whopping 35mm! How you feeling now, standard and conventional stereo recording? Not so good, huh? Once you go thick, you’ll never get sick. Once you drop thin, you can’t help but grin. Or how about, once you go fat, you’ll never look back… I give up.
This is Everest… the peak of achievement in recorded sound!
Nothing speaks more about wholesome, politically indifferent, red-blooded American family values quite like strippers. Grab the kids, pop some corn, and don’t forget to break that 10-spot for a stack of singles, because honey, we’ve got one-hell-of-a show a-brewin’!
David Rose and His (magnificent) Orchestra play, rather seductively, 12 of the most luring, enticing, sweaty, and questionably hygienic, hussy music ever performed this side of the Clark County line, AND, they do it for the whole family. The youngins will be excited because they’ll think milk is on the way, the Grade Schoolers will look on with that awkward, puzzled, and “the real world is a farce! Make it stop!” look, the teenagers will stare at the floor the entire time as not to, um… raise any suspicions, and the folks will gleefully sip on their overpriced drinks and gaze upon the sea of soon to be emotionally scarred children and think to themselves, “should we get a dog?”
David Rose and His Orchestra Play The Stripper and Other Fun Songs for the Family is not only a very long and tedious title to write, it’s also perfect for those late nights with your significant other when the fire is glowing, and you collectively conclude that raising a child in this world is not only a disgusting idea, it’s patriotic, and that birth control really is the work of the devil (don’t we all have nights like that?).
Also, doesn’t David Rose look an awful lot like Victor Laszlo?
Photo on right courtesy of Warner Bros. DVD, VLC player and shift+command+4.