Tag Archives: record collecting

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Christmas with VIBRAPHONE and GUITAR

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Christmas in KillarneyIf Christmas were a time for heart-sucked mourning, or generally, if your dog, Holly, was just struck and killed by the mail truck (oh the sad, but delicious irony), Music for Christmas by Paul Carson would be JUST the dismal, grief-stricken, collection of anguished holiday hits that you’d give just about anything to forget.

Performed beautifully, this pipe organ-driven assortment of “holiday cheer” is a tear-stealing demon bent on sucking the hope clean dry from any and every last joy-expecting gentleman or woman within reasonable earshot, and succeeds in forcing those not too distant feelings of habitual skepticism right up to the surface in a boiling frenzy of left field emotion.

Bloody ChristmasWhat I’m saying here, is that this album is a Debra McDownerson, with her husband Daniel McDownerson and their 2 children, Doreen and Dennis McDownerson. If you’re looking for a little seasonal pick-me-up, LOOK ELSEWHERE, you poor, misguided sap! Music for Christmas by Paul Carson may seem as enticing as a 7-Eleven 1/3 lb hot dog, but as per usual, what is disguised as joyful elation is in fact forlorn regret in disguise. Merry Christmas… pass the tissues.

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A Cabbage Patch Christmas

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Cabbage Spatch“Man… how do you go from Johnny Cash to the Cabbage Patch Kids?!”

What can I say… I’m nothing if I’m not eclectic. Does that excuse me from owning A Cabbage Patch Christmas… probably (absolutely, most definitely) not. Is my head held high with the smug satisfaction that I can own any damn record I damn well please? Not really, but look at this cover! I mean, somebody, A TEAM, rather, drew up this idea, had meetings, scheduled a photo shoot where somebody, probably a poor PA was late due to a flat tire and was fired around the holidays. I’m sure there was a costume designer, a set builder, an Executive who complained that the snow didn’t look enough like “East Coast snow” (whatever the hell that means), there were probably lengthy discussions about what song the soulless field babies would sing, if the almost invisible lights in the bush and / or trees should be colored or Plain Jane boring white… and for what?! To sell dolls (read plastic and yarn).

Cabbage BackI’ve probably owned this record for several (10 or so) years, and I doubt I’ve ever listened to it. So, as I’m typing this and sucking down my morning brew, my virgin ears are (bleeding) being christened by somebody named Colonel Casey and a bunch of soil born kids, with decent singing ability (embrace it now, kid), as they meander through top 40 Christmas favs. Maybe my aging brain needs another round of hot genus coffea, but I don’t recall the Cabbage Patch Kids having such an outwardly southern feel. Banjos? Really? I mean, I’m all for banjos. I love Primus, but there’s just something about this album and the time it was put out (1984) that leaves me scratching my head (mainly because of an itch).

Alright. That’s it. Is Christmas over yet? No? Well, I hope it gets here soon. I’m running out of Christmas albums…

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The Man in Black Sings About Christmases of White

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JRJ. R. Cash was seldom shy about his faith. He was brought up on Baptist beliefs, was quoted 17 ways from Sunday commenting on his personal relationship with God, and wife June was inducted into the Christian Music Hall of Fame back in 2009. This 1963 album on Columbia Records stands as a shameless appreciation of this rugged man’s enormous heart, and shows that everyone, from Timbuktu to Kalamazoo, has a little classic country in them. Titled The Christmas Spirit, Mr. Cash masters that warmhearted holiday sentiment perfect for sitting fireside while heavy winds fight trees outside closed windows, and looming clouds sift a heavy helping of blanketed snow.

For me, anytime of year is a great time for Johnny Cash, but for some reason, maybe it’s his deep, fearless tone, the holidays are the best days for enjoying a little Man in Black. Don’t expect Brenda Lee or Chuck Berry on this album, they are more part of the sparkling, bubbling lights on the holiday music tree. Johnny Cash on the other hand, is the one shining star that rests atop this tree, creating that perfect, musical glow of holiday comfort and joy .

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A Christmas Filled With Partridges, Dysfunctional Families and Christmas Cards

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Partridge Family FrontIt’s getting close to Christmas, so I’ll admit that I know next to nothing about the Family Partridge. Then why, you ask, do I have their Christmas Card album? I can’t logically answer that. Oh, sure, I could offer you a string of hypothetical and misleading lies as to how and / or why I acquired this frolicking little collection of easy listening holiday nuggets of someone else’s nostalgia, but like I said, Christmas is coming, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to fib this close to the big day.

CardSo instead, I’ll (quickly) offer up what I THINK the Partridge Family is based on their (pear) tree decorating Christmas photo. So, you’ve got mom, who looks awful close in age to her son, David Cassidy, who ripped out, broke, and set fire to the hearts of adolescent girls the world over, then you’ve got big sister who has a giant goiter on her neck, and is constantly covering it up while pretending to play with her hair, then you got the little ones. The red headed kid I know was heavy into drugs, and is excited for, what I assume, was a neatly wrapped imported bong, while the others, probably neighbor kids, look at this glass flute in youthful amazement. A few questions… where’s dad? How old was mom when she had little David? Did dad die? Oh! Did mom shoot him for leaving her with five bratty kids?! Maybe the goiter on big sister’s neck is instead a defensive gunshot wound when drunken dad attempted to off the entire family! That might be a little racy for the 70s, especially on primetime television. I could just as easily head on over to the interwebs to verify this hypothetical assessment of this (dys) functional family, but instead, I’ll enjoy this sunshine popsicle album and imagine, all day, what the hell happened to dad.

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Santa Alpert & The Tijuana Elves

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Santa AlpertHerb Alpert and his talented band of merry elves deliver a stellar collection of wistful Christmas classics neatly wrapped in a “south of the border” sized box, with just the right amount of contemporary wrapping and an unforgettable horn-shaped bow. The standards, you ask? They’re here… Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Jingle Bell Rock, Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bells etc., as well the desperately playful Burt Bacharach number, The Bell that Couldn’t Jingle.

Tijuana ElvesReleased in 1968 on A&M Records, a label Mr. Alpert helped form (the A in A&M stands for Alpert… true story), this set of holiday hymns suffers from only one discriminating flaw… it is entirely too short. This album could easily be three times the length and still not cross that lingering line of awkward and incessant “is this album EVER gonna’ end” vibe. This album, like most everything Herb Alpert was involved with, is extravagant and considerably timeless. One thing is clear after listening to this album; I don’t listen to NEAR enough Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass. My list of New Year’s resolutions is growing exponentially. I blame Obama.

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Ambition Has its Flaws Volume 5

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Audio

Well, it’s December 15th, and with only 10 days until “the big one,” we’ll only have to drudge through only two more Christmas themed audio posts. Check out today’s tracklist:

1. The Ramones – Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)

2. The Chinkees – Christmas

3. The Flaming Lips – Christmas at the Zoo

4. The Promise Ring – Holiday Adam

5. Clifton Chenier – It’s Christmas Time

6. Lou Rawls – Merry Christmas, Baby

7. Sammy Davis Jr. – Christmas Time All Over the World

8. The Statler Brothers – I’ll Be Home for Christmas

All this Christmas music is starting to get to me… light at the end of the holiday tunnel.. HURRY UP AND GET HERE!

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A Thoughtful and Timely Christmas Gift from Brenda Lee

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Rockin FrontBrenda Lee was mindful enough to remember us this year, and put together a rip-roarin’ collection of rockabilly and surf rock tidings of good cheer to keep all of us, especially those in the colder regions, busy and movin’ this holiday season. Kickin’ off this 12-track comp (released in 1986 by MCA Records) is Little Miss Dynamite’s (aka Brenda Lee) 1958 classic, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. What follows is a musical sleigh ride of body movin’ classics from Bobby Helms & The Anita Kerr Singers, Dodie Stevens, the Surfaris, Chuck Berry and others (others is not a band, I just didn’t want to type up the rest of talented acts featured on this flawless album…).

Rockin BackThis record in particular generally gets more spins each holiday than the other knots in the holiday tree library. Played again, for the 3rd time just yesterday, I foresee (Brenda Lee Presents) Rockin’ Little Christmas to fill these walls at least three more times in 2013. After that she’ll head off to the dormant “Christmas section” and hibernate for a good 12 months. At this point, I’m just about over the whole Christmas music deal, but I agreed to something and I’m sticking with it (facepalm).

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Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus

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HB, BJNothing says Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus like the appropriately titled rock n’ roll comp, Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus. Released in 1993 on Sympathy for the Record Industry, a Washington-based, one-man-operated punk and garage rock label, HB, BJ captures that glorified sleaziness found within the smoke-filled, brawl-inducing dive bars scattered across this giant, rotating rock, but you know, with that perfect amount of stocking stuffed sincerity.

BackFeatured on this, borderline anti-Christmas rager are The New Bomb Turks, Rocket from the Crypt, Jackknife, The Humpers, Shitbirds, The Devil Dogs a many more! Act now and receive a free… or, wait… I’m not actually selling this album, but if you’re in the market for quality garage rock with a pinch of Christmas cheer, Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus is just the right amount of straight bourbon guzzling, tree decorating, sibling-shoving mess of holiday overindulgence.

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You Can Say There’s No Such Thing as Grandpa, But as for Me and Santa, We Believe

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GrandmaA renowned classic throughout the family for as long as I can remember, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer was, for many Christmases, the soundtrack to the season. Mix in a few Brandy Old Fashioneds, the light accumulation of snow, and a warm room heated up by a wood-burning furnace, and you’ve got a Norman Rockwell painting of my early Christmas years.

As a young, little, mischievous ankle-biter, I’d heard, and was familiar with the name, Elmo & Patsy. Patsy was my grandfather’s nickname for my grandmother, and now that I’m older, I wonder if it was derived from this album. He’d give her a hard time about something, playfully of course, and would always end his boisterous rant with Patsy. My grandmother would laugh, almost embarrassed, which would then set the room into a joyous ruckus. My grandfather was great at that… setting an infectious, and heartfelt fire to a room. I miss him, but will always remember the little details of family Christmases thanks, in part, to this song. Egga Cleva anyone?

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Merrie (Melodies) Christmas!

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Bugs FrontAlthough MUCH is lost when Looney Tunes is stripped of its visual brilliance, the unmistakable talents of Mel Blanc are more than enough to make this LP of “four wonderful stories” a necessity for the holiday season.

Bugs TailFeatured on this collection are the pillars of the Looney Tunes franchise, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck (who didn’t make the cover, surprisingly), along with Yosemite Sam, Sylvester & Tweety, and the crowned king of calamitous camp, Elmer Fudd. Available here, with its special twist of Looney Tunage, are Bugs the Red-Nose Bunny, Santa-Claustrophobia, Holly Daze, and ‘Twas the Sight Before Christmas. Tracks that could have, but didn’t make the cut were Bugsy the Snowman, Don’t Eat Duck for Christmas, and Yosemite Sam Presents: Russian Roulette aka Red Christmas.

Sick of the same ol’ holiday schtick? Why not spice it up this season with a few, long-winded stories by the master of voice entertainment, Mel Blanc? Your inner child, and your 4-year-old nephew will thank you.

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Christmas in California

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Yosemite ChristmasChristmas in California does not look like the cover of this album for about 99.9% of its lackadaisical residents, I can assure you. With seductive lies aside, what this album does appropriately present is plenty of sunshine fa-la-las and hometown holiday melodies because, let’s face it… only Peter Nero can wistfully combine Jingle Bells with Winter Wonderland in that seamless Peter Nero kind of way.

This 12 track compilation is more your parents’ speed, provided your parents are that pipe smoking, holiday cookie-baking, smoking jacket-wearing, red cabbage-prepping dynamic duo of yesteryear… and, let’s face it… don’t all of our parents secretly wish to engulf that 1968 middle aged persona? I know mine do, although they’re reluctant to admit it.

Yosemite BackReleased in 1968 by RCA Records, although not necessarily my immediate go-to, classics by the classics (Arthur Fiedler, Al Hirt, Henry Mancini, Robert Shaw, Harry Belafonte, The Norman Luboff Choir, etc.) do deserve at least one spin a year, and today, apparently, is that day.

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O Tannenbaum aka A They Might Be Giants Christmas

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O Tannenbaum1993 was a good year for a lot of good reasons. Mainly, it saw this two-track holiday offering by the two Johns (Flansburgh and Linell) of They Might Be Giants. Featuring O Tannenbaum and the b-side Christmas Cards, this nifty little stocking stuffer comes on mistletoe green vinyl, and bridges that perfect gap between early 90s college rock and classic holiday warm and fuzzy music.

Christmas CardsAlthough released in 1993 (wow, that’s now 20 years ago!), both songs harbor that “timeless Christmas” vibe, and if you’re like me and enjoy the cheese-filled, gluttonous, help me forget about my everyday life kind of distraction, They Might Be Giants have a neatly wrapped 45 with your name on it. It’s under the tree next to the zeppelin and the Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle.

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House Party Series Presents: Carols for Christmas

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Carols… as opposed to Carols for Groundhog’s day, I suppose. Look at these kids. Now, look at this stupid-ass snow-gentleman… trying so hard to please whomever is JUST off camera, widening their gullets in the fiendish attempts at pretending the words of Joy to the World. I call bollocks, if I am so allowed! And to blame, in all of this maddening banter, is, of course, Columbia Records.

Ok, so the Norman Luboff Choir accompanies these lolly-gagging kids… find and dandy (don’t call me Dandy). But what the sh!t is ol’ Frosty McFrostersons doing following along with the mitten wearing, class skipping, coal stealing hoodlums of the mid 1950s? Honestly, I thought Mr. Snowman had more class than that. Well, touché, cruel world… touché indeed.

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Funky, Funky Christmas

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New KidsJordan, Jonathan, Joey, Donnie & Danny want to wish your 1989 self a money cow-milking merry Christmas. Apparently “dedicated to the children of the world,” Merry, Merry Christmas is a Christmas star-shining example of late 1980s awesomeness and features five white mimes with questionable talent and poor fashion sense cascading down a blanket of fake snow atop a wooden toboggan on some back lot at CBS Studios in Studio City, California. If the now 40-somethings ever made it to the bottom of We Need to Hurry Up and Release a Christmas Album Hill, the world may never know, but one thing is for sure, they certainly made their way into Heartthrob Base with little to no trouble.

With such profound lyrics as, He said you left the fire burning and I burnt my butt, and It’s going I’m showin’ fresh rhymes I’m throwin’, it’s snowin’ outside but we Ho Ho Hoin’, it’s no question that this album is ripe with the unmistakable scent of Christmas class.

So, don’t forget to include NKOTB on your Christmas card list. Here is their address in case you lost it: New Kids, P.O. Box 7080 Quincy, MA 02269.

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Santa Was Here… But Did He Remember to Open the Flue?

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Little Suzy Worries A LotLittle Suzy Worries A Lot is concerned. Not because she constantly trips on her obviously oversized sleeping gown-thing, but because Santa may have forgotten open the flue. Dancing in little Suzy’s head aren’t just images of sugar plums, but also the vision of her beloved family laying lifeless under the candy cane-like Christmas tree from carbon monoxide poisoning. Little Suzy has reason for concern, so she spent her entire Christmas morning on the floor checking the flue. “Where’s Suzy?” “Oh, she’s checking the flue.” “Again?!”

The Somerset Strings do a marvelous job of capturing vintage Christmas on this 6-track 10” from the 1950s. All the classics are here, from Jingle Bells to The First Nowell (I always thought it was NOEL as in, no Ls allowed… or a_ _owed). Acquired, obviously, for its fascinating cover, Santa Was Here is a welcoming addition to the Christmas section of my library, and would make for a decent, albeit short, listen for anyone seeking out that vintage Christmas sound.

Don’t worry about little Suzy. She survived that Christmas, and went on to achieve great and magnificent things in the further development of fireplace safety.

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Deck the Walls of Sound

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SpectorWe the jury find the accused, Phillip Harvey Spector, guilty on all counts… of spreading holiday cheer! What was originally dubbed as A Christmas Gift for You from Philles Records back in 1963, was re-released in 1972 on Apple Records with 1) a new title, Phil Spector’s Christmas Album, and 2) a new, Christmas-killing cover depicting the legendary producer dressed as a drunken Santa Claus. Personally, I feel Art Carney’s role as loaded Santa in the Twilight Zone episode, The Night of the Meek was a little more convincing, but ol’ gunslinger Phil does a decent job.

PhilThese 13 re-imagined Christmas classics by the likes of The Ronettes, The Crystals, Darlene Love and Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans are all produced by Phil Spector (obviously), and make for a fantastic, and well-rounded Christmas album. If you don’t already own it, or its 1963 original, seek it out. One can never have too many quality Christmas songs, even if their producer is a convicted murderer.

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Keeping Up With Grandma

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Grandma Can DrinkChristmas is approaching faster than Grandma can down a double eggnog, so let’s not waste our precious head funnels on anything other than pristine audio bliss. The Fireside Carolers do a magnificent job of romanticizing some of the holiday’s best ear cocktails in that down-home, get the hell off my lawn kind of way. Decent enough for just about one spin on the ol’ turntable of love, Let’s All Sing our Christmas Favorites makes for fascinating background music, perfect for filling the empty walls when you and your loved ones are out making trouble with the neighborhood kids. What I’m saying is, although performed exceptionally well, these organ-supported band of carolers need to take a backseat when it comes to proper, more upbeat Christmas music. You catch my drift? No offense, Fireside Carolers. You’re good enough to knock Grandma out, although, much of the credit should be given to the bourbon. Cheers to the holidays, or as Grandma says, “Shiers totha hol-idssss.”

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Santa Sunburn

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Santa SunburnNothing says another year is about to be sucked into the great void of forgotten memories quite like a collection of 18 Christmas songs from Broadway Records and Container-Kraft of Los Angeles. If you don’t believe me, maybe Santa Sunburn and his waving 2-ton mitten (probably ringing wet with Santa sweat… it’s warm here during the holidays) will convince you. With “Christmas favorites old and new for young and old,” from kiddies to grannies and all the naysayers in between, each and every ear will be bleeding that sweet blood of Christmas joy.

Santa Trumpet BlowerFor best results use sharp needle.

All the classics are here. From White Christmas to Auld Lang Syne, and from Bring A Torch Jeanette Isabella to The Shepherd’s Carol, this album is your one-stop-shop for getting your humble abode (and that of your neighbor if your walls are thin enough) into that warm and fuzzy mood.

An outstanding value in top quality phonograph records.

Mainly, I just use this album for decoration during the holidays. I doubt I’ve ever even played it. Happy Monday, folks!

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Ambition Has its Flaws Volume 3

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Audio

Well, it’s late, but k’mon, man! These things take time! Enjoy the beginnings of the festive holiday with works from Dean Martin, Country Mike (the Beastie Boys), R2-D2 & C-3PO, Joe Pesci, The Kinks, The Smothers Brothers, Rocket from the Crypt, the Capitol Studio Orchestra, The Dismemberment Plan, and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Make your ears bleed red will these irreverent boughs of holly, courtesy of The Prudent Groove.