Happy Birthday, Prudent Groove!

TheGrooveTurnsOne

365 days ago The Prudent Groove set out on her (lethargic, nonsensical, unfocused) maiden voyage in the attempt to offer little more than a self-improving, daily exploration into the cold, solemn depths of my record collection. That was her initial objective. What she inevitably turned into was a time-sucking, ulcer-feeding, stress-fueled fireball licking the backs of my heels as I embarked on a full, creative sprint every day for the past year. Fireballs may be good motivators, but they’re still giant balls of death. Thankfully, I was able to stay one prudent stride ahead of what seemed like inevitable, groovy doom.

Seriously though, thank you for allowing me to waste your time. I’ve had an exceptionally rewarding year, and I appreciate every last set of eyeballs. I’ve met some incredible listening companions (all of whom are much smarter, and more musically knowledgeable than I), and I look forward to another fruitful year of sensational ear candy.

Happy birthday, Prudent Groove!

One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

LiveThere are a dozen or so essential acts that invariably get handed down from parent to child throughout an 18 or so year upbringing. (It was 17 and some change years for me, although my folks would argue it’s been 34 going on 35 years… and they wouldn’t be completely inaccurate.) Certain essentials fit this bill: The Beatles, The Stones, Electric Light Orchestra, Led Zeppelin, The Boss, Ludwig Van, John Cougar’s Jack & Diane, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Gimme Three Steps, Steve Miller Band’s Jet Airliner (AKA Jed & Lina), and of course, George Thorogood & the Destroyers’ One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer.

BourbonOnly once in my life have I approached a gleaming, beer-stained bar to order this unique combination of lubricating cocktails, and it just so happened to be in my hometown amongst like-Thorogood-loving friends, so the event did not go overlooked. Tis a time of esteemed celebration, for tomorrow, the Prudent Groove turns one. Do your head a favor, and spoil yourself with one bourbon, one scotch and one beer. The first round is on us.

Thanks to all the folks who instill the essentials into their kids. To those about to rock, the Groove salutes you!

I Me Mine

Let It BeIn 1988, Laibach, Slovenian grandfathers of avant-garde industrial, released Let It Be, a cover of the famous Beatles album of the same name. Apart from the deviant departure in genres, Laibach’s Let It Be bypasses Maggie Mae and the title track to the album, but offers a strikingly charming and elegant version of Across the Universe amongst its polluted sea of military-inspired, industrial-themed, Cold War anthems.

Get BackThis cover album is worthy of a listen, if just for the sheer cat-killing curiosity factor. Laibach is a bitter pill to swallow, especially for fans of top 40 radio, but gentility and fascination certainly make their glowing presence known throughout this 11-track cover album. Diehard Beatles fans may see this as a chronically sick joke, and I imagine, above all else, that was without question Laibach’s main objective during the production of this legendary album. If you don’t like the harpsichord, steer clear of this, and every other Laibach album, but if you’ve got an ear for prideful adventure, seek out this version of Let It Be. There will undoubtedly be a strong divide separating your time before Laibach, and your time after them. Good luck, and I’ll see you on the other side.

“Yi wang si-i wa ye kan duo, Xin li bian yao la jing bao jin tian zhi, Dao. Anything goes.”

IndyMuch like the original Star Wars trilogy (the prequels be DAMNED!), the Indiana Jones trilogy (Crystal Skull be DOUBLE-DAMNED!!), possesses an obvious best, a least best, and a favorite. The painfully obvious best being Raiders, with the least best (in my opinion) being Last Crusade, leaves Doom as my all-time favorite Indy flick.

Om Namah Shivaya!

Indy LabelI was recently told, “All boys prefer Temple of Doom to Raiders.” I haven’t yet heard back from every Indy watching boy-child, so this claim has yet been verified. Whether you’re an idle-stealing Indy lover, a mining-car-roller-coaster-riding Indy, or father-son Indy, this 1984 Read-Along Adventure offers just the right amount of the infamous swashbuckling archeologist, in just the right amount of adventure-seeking time.

INXSK8

KickI had not heard INXS in nearly 15 years, and to completely sidestep the accidental death of frontman Michael Hutchence, it must be stated that I’ve always held a deep-rooted respect for this Australian pop-rock band. It’s not due to the success of their 1987 album Kick, although the four singles contained within (New Sensation, Devil Inside, Need You Tonight and Never Tear Us Apart) certainly help their cause, but instead, an unlikely (IN) X (S)-factor prominently featured on the cover that immediately, and forever gripped my attention.

Photo courtesy of http://www.visionstreetwear.com (bring it, gents!).

Photo courtesy of http://www.visionstreetwear.com (bring it, gents!).

I was seven at the time Kick made its way to the record shelves at the local K-Mart, and as a curb surfin’ knee-scratcher, I was enmeshed with the skateboarding world. So when a major label release (all I knew at the time) featured a professional deck on the cover (Vision’s 1986 Psycho Stick), it was something of a gravity-pulling, counterculture-wise nod to those “in the know.” A lifelong respect was forged that day, and although I was a Powell-Peralta kid myself, the inclusion of such a specific detail certainly did not go overlooked on my part.

As I drink coffee from my Rob Roskopp Face mug (an awesomely outrageous gift, thangs, mang!), I look at this album cover and smile. Sure, 1/3 of that smile derives from the tunes, but 2/3 comes from that unforgettable childhood moment of joyful realization. Now, it’s time to FINALLY master that kickflip! Hey Bob…

Your Pedestal’s Your Prison, and So is Your High

Train TracksSo as to dismiss my feelings of guilt and laziness, and to sustain any modicum of respectability I probably no longer possess, today’s suggested listen comes from Jim & Ingrid Croce. Spin, Spin, Spin is a depressingly sweet number featuring the short lived husband and wife duo lamenting the painful distraction of drugs, and the underlying consequences that inevitably tag along. Especially heartbreaking is hearing Mr. Croce sing:

But where are you spinnin’

When will you know

That life is for livin’

That it isn’t a show

Dead at age 30, Mr. Croce left so much astounding work unfinished. This haunting song lives as a fruitful example of how timeless this artist’s songwriting ability has become, and cries for the deserving respect that fuels the thoughts of wonderful things that may have been. RIP Mr. Croce.

Spin

Some Gilded Treasures Should Remain Buried

Black n RedContained below is lost debris found amongst the sea of filth that is my PG work folder. I have no idea as to its context, nor what groovy slab inspired such nonsensical ramblings, but when you’re in a hurry, anything seems plausible. (If you need a music suggestion for today, check out Rocket from the Crypt’s Hot Charity, or Tool’s Ænima. I’ve been stuck under an angry cloud as of late, and it seems my trusty umbrella has abandoned my side.)

There is something to be said about someone who can go from Beethoven’s 8th Symphony, to Thunderheist’s Jerk It 12”, to Harry Nilsson’s Pandemonium Shadow Show, to Rudimentary Peni’s Cacophony without the shimmering blink of an eye. What that something is, may be lost on the likes of me, but sometimes the logic breaks down in an extremely logical way. Get what I’m throwing down? No? Neither do I. If that’s the case, then you and I should be friends, or at least pen pals (suggested by someone who has never owned a pen).

Dig what you dig, and don’t listen to anyone who thinks they know what they’re talking about because, realistically, nobody really does. Take me for example. I enjoy annoying my neighbors, so much so that I create “neighbor annoy” playlists for my mid-day weekend adventures. Are they annoyed as I feel they SHOULD be, probably not. But does it make me happy none-the-less? You bet your ass!

Realistic Anti-Static Record Protector AKA Ziploc Bags for Your Records

RASRPStatic can be a bitch… a real, conniving, backstabbing, drop you off on the side of the road with nothing more than a toothbrush and an empty matchbook, leaving you to fend for yourself against the screaming locals of Ventura County, bitch. You catch what I’m saying. We’ve all been there. So do yourself and your future, Detroit-raised children a favor and invest in plastic, resealable bags for all your records! Realistic Anti-Static Record Protectors aren’t just for the “good” records (AKA your Tammy Wynette discography). Every groovy slab is worthy of protection, and with modern day technology, that dream has become Realistic.

What do I keep in my Realistic Anti-Static Record Protector? German Sing-Along with Will Glahe, of course! Does that question even need to be asked? Beware of static, kids! Protection… because if our parents had used it, none of us would be here.Zipped and Locked

Reprise Records is Synonymous With the Excitement of Today’s Music

Reprise Insert… or so they claim. Although I’m not a fan of the late, womanizing crooner Frank Sinatra, I find myself acquiring a decent amount of his label’s records these days. Most recently, 1967’s The Live Kinks, where I discovered this lovely gem.

Signing the North American distribution rights to Don Ho, The Kinks and Dean Martin is a respectably eclectic maneuver for a label founded by the Rat Pack King (I prefer Dean Martin, myself), and it speaks to the ever enveloping, changing winds that swept through the later half of the social 60s… or so I gather… I wasn’t around then, so all these bits of online data could be nothing more than inaccurate gibberish… much like The Prudent Groove. I like inserts, and I like The Kinks. Good day.

Describe, Desire, Defile, Deny

Pencil CrassI have very little time this morning (which unsurprisingly turned into late evening), so I’m going to get right to the point. Crass. That’s my point. To sum up something as historically imperative as Crass would be beyond devastating… so here goes: Dangerously accurate art punk done right.

Because I know the majority of you don’t care for in-your-face social snarls, here is a less than typical Crass song called, Walls (Fun in the Oven). No jabs at the Queen, declarations of a corrupt system, or stiff middle fingers saluting traditional moral values (there may be a hint of that). Roughly, Walls is a thick, spoon-fed helping of the conformist “rule” that husband + wife + baby = happiness. Enjoy!

(Let’s Talk) Physical

Physical CoverThe obnoxiously soothing b-side to the Olivia Newton John cover of (Let’s Get) Physical by the Revolting Cocks is a marathon listen. Clocking in at 10:08, this monster of a patience builder is little more than an irate, mechanical loop set off to offend everyone, up to and including the most devoted RevCo fans… at a seemingly endless coil of 10, nauseating, industrial minutes…

Physical BackI’m in love with this song. It offers somewhat of a calming experience, not unlike the way Philip Glass’ Einstein on the Beach provides its monotonous, brilliant beauty. I’ve included the track for you (to struggle through) to enjoy, so you can get a sense of what Chicago’s industrial scene was like in 1989.

Not unlike drinking straight vinegar, or putting hot sauce on your morning toast, (Let’s Talk) Physical, and the Revolting Cocks as a whole, are certainly acquired tastes. This isn’t a song I’d spin as often as let’s say, The Kinks’ Animal Farm, but its function of knocking me out of any given dry, laborious day, at 10-minute intervals, is a rare and welcoming treat.

 

Blues on the Ceilin’

Hardin CoverThere is something distinctly haunting that unjustly fills the room when I listen to the fortuitous desperation that surrounds Tim Hardin when he sings the lyrics, “I’ll never get out of these blues alive” on the Fred Neil classic, Blues on the Ceilin’ from Tim’s 1963 recorded, 1967 released (third) album, This is Tim Hardin. For you see, he didn’t. Escape those blues, that is. Mr. Hardin, my current crutch, passed on December 29, 1980. The cause of his untimely death? The blues… in the form of diacetylmorphine.

Other monumental iconic phrases from this track are:

I’d do it all over, but I’d rather not

Love is just a dirty four-letter word to me

The bitter the blues, the better they keep

The toast was cold, the orange juice was hot

White. Boy. Blues. As prolific an oxymoron as it is, has its fair share of respectable highlights. Tim Hardin isn’t known for his blues-driven ways (and that’s painfully unfortunate), but instead, for his often covered and heart-tuggingly sweet If I Were a Carpenter.

BluesWhen I drink whiskey, alone, I subconsciously gravitate towards Tim Hardin. Like a beaming source of intellectual and soul-bearing light, Mr. Hardin asks only one favor of us while we enjoy his personal blues-documenting catalog, and the favor is that we must share in this man’s heartfelt dismay. Pain manifests itself in many forms, up to and including a soulful voice accompanying sincerity projecting from the blackened heart.

NO F-X

NO F-X CoverBack when NOFX was NO F-X, the now prolific and household-recognizable band was signed to Mystic Records. In early 1985, then again in 1986, NO F-X released their first two EPs for the label (NO F-X and So What If We’re on Mystic). Both EPs, along with a bunch of early demo tracks (1988’s The Album) made their way, without the band’s permission, to the 1989 comp, E is for Everything, then again to the exact same comp (with a different name), 1992’s Maximum Rocknroll.

NO F-X VinylThe version featured here is a reissue of a reissue of a reissue, and was promptly released in 2008. Not that any of this matters, because, like it should, the music speaks for itself. Stripped of the tongue-in-cheek humor the band is now known for, these 22 tracks are much more straightforward, dirty hardcore punk rock. Fans of the band’s later material (Ribbed, Punk in Drublic, Heavy Petty Zoo) who haven’t stumbled across this gem may hear it and not know it was NOFX (or, NO F-X).

These poorly recorded, poorly played songs have a certain charm and angry grace that inevitably gets abandoned when money and opportunity get in the way. In that regard, Maximum Rocknroll is a great collection of classic hardcore by a much younger, haven’t-yet-made-it NOFX, and is worth seeking out. I guarantee it.

Me & Julie Down by the Bowling Alley

Me First CoverEvery so often the (pitcher beer ordering) mood for late 90s pop punk versions of mid 70s radio hits rolls down the cherry wood lane of life and lands a perfect strike (phew… that came desperately close to being a run-on sentence… I miss those).  Times like this, it’s comforting (although not really) to know Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is good for a round, and some damn good classic covers.

This, their first full-length released on Fat Wreck Chords back in 1997, features pop punk-ified versions of John Denver, Kenny Loggins, Paul Simon, Billy Joel, Neil Diamond and some other hit-making individuals of considerable musical talent. Covers, not unlike Social Security, are the third rail of musical politics. On one hand, paying homage to a classic can be somewhat of a respectful gesture, but on the other hand, these lazy, talentless bastards could just be riding the coattails of other, more innovative artists. Lucky for all involved with today’s post, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes is comprised of a lucrative series of already established bands, so the results are smooth and well produced.

Me First VinylAllow me to introduce you to the band:

Vocals: Spike Slawson (of the Swingin’ Utters)

Lead Guitar: Chris Shiflett (of No Use for a Name and Foo Fighters… in that order, the order of importance)

Rhythm Guitar: Joey Cape (of Lagwagon)

Bass: Fat Mike (of NOFX fame, also the owner and operator of Fat Wreck Chords)

Drums: Dave Raun (of Lagwagon)

A pop-punk all-star band if ever there was one, Me First is deserving of a listen from fans of that 70s drawl, and bay area pop-punk. Now, set up those bumpers and let’s go bowling (courtesy of The Prudent Groove Lanes Across America Bowling League*).

*Does not exist

Scooby Dooby-Doo, Y’all

Scooby Doo CoverThe year was 1994, and oh what an awkward and transformable year it was. Allow me to paint a 20-year-old picture using swift, roomy strokes if I may. In those days, I occupied the basement of my parents’ suburban homestead. I shared my first quasi-studio apartment with a blow-up mattress for a bed, ripped out Snowboard Magazine pages taped to plastic sheets covering the rows and rows of canary yellow insulation, a loud and obnoxious hot water heater that would wake me up in the middle of the night in a dead panic, and of course, my adorable mother popping down every half hour to painstakingly adhere to the family laundry. My “bedroom” throughout the duration of my high school days was a labyrinth of new and exciting music, and at the time, few syncopated sounds were more otherworldly (for a suburban white kid living in the rural Midwest) than Los Angeles’ own, Cypress Hill.

As a gullible and easily impressionable youth, anything that wasn’t early 90s country radio (or the overly played and equally obnoxious doobs of the grunge scene) grabbed my conformed and sheltered ear. Jane’s Addiction, Onyx, Beastie Boys, Operation Ivy, Ministry, Vacuum Scam, and The Pharcyde all became rhythmically projected voices, representing the outside world; a world I knew nothing about, but that which promised gilded and painful excitement.

Scooby Doo BackCypress Hill’s first two albums are critically flawless. Fans of Tim McGraw and those still clinging to Pearl Jam may have a different (and mortally incorrect) opinion. On the We Ain’ Goin’ Out Like That single, which is really more of an EP, there featured a song that was released exclusively to this release. This song, the opus of my youth, and a song my friends and I still quote on a weekly bases, is Scooby Doo. No mysteries are solved during the three minutes and 39 seconds of this epic story, and nobody utters the icon phrase “jinkies” (at least in English). Instead, Scooby Doo is a bass-heavy, skull-vibrating anthem covering themes of street confrontations and the ultimate and fatal error of crossing that forbidden line in the sand. It was, at the time, a force so strong, we’d play it on as many different stereos as we could to see whose rig had the biggest bass. Lancer Dancer is the legendary champ on all counts of said experiment (his mobile speaker system would knock you up side the head and inject a subtle, but piercing ringing sensation, both pleasing and a bit sobering).

Scooby Doo, if only for me, and a modest core group of friends, is 1000 times more legendary than Stairway to Heaven, and will forever live as the biggest, most atrocious bass-tastic song I’ve ever had the distinct pleasure of experiencing.Doo

You’d aroun’ da way, mang… I know where chu at!

A Child’s Garden of Grass – A Prelegalization Comedy

CoverListed under the “comedy” umbrella with a born-on date of 1971, A Child’s Garden of Grass was acquired for little over $1 at a rather respectable San Diego record shop some six or so months ago. Stacked among the likes of tattered Lawrence Welk LPs and unplayed Henry Mancini albums, this collection of 13 unfocused (if a focus on being unfocused can be considered unfocused) ramblings attempt to persuade the listener that indeed, they are ingesting something worthy of a laugh. I, however, didn’t find it all that humorous.

BackI’m certainly not one of those “can’t be bothered with what you think is funny if I don’t find that tone of humor comedic” types. Anything and everything is fair game in the revolving world of comedy as far as I’m concerned. It’s just that, this album apparently requires a bit of, um, pre-gaming for the jokes to make their perfect 10 landings. I know some people who would lose their gourds over this album… perhaps it’ll make a perfect gift, or at the very least, a decent surface for rolling Zig-Zags.

How to Make Your Husband A Sultan

SultanTreat yourself to the quiet desperation of Özel Türkbas’ How to Make Your Husband A Sultan and majestically transform the stale, white bread dullness of your “after hours” marriage into an international world brimming with tantalizing temptation, rhythmic finger cymbals, and salty body gyrations sure to set the neighborhood hens in full cackle. Because, after all, isn’t your husband worthy of Sultan status? Mr. Jones has Sultan status, and aren’t you trying desperately to keep up with the Joneses?

Sultan BackSomeone may have said somewhere (if only in my mind), “For man is not capable of achieving Sultan status by his own means. It takes the alluring hips of his half-dressed wife awkwardly contorting herself into a chiropractor’s appointment to allow the man to reach true Sultan stature.” Wives, be submissive to your husbands, and allow Özel Türkbas’ to show you the way.

Complete with a seven page How to Make Your Husband A Sultan Belly Dance Instruction Booklet, the ease and eventual rewards of metamorphasizing yourself into a seductive, Sultan-pleasing siren is conveniently broken down into easy, step-by-step (not the cheesy 90s sitcom starring Patrick Duffy) illustrations that are easy to understand, and painful to emulate.Instructions

Your husband deserves the best. He deserves the social rank of a certified Sultan, and with Özel Türkbas’ How to Make Your Husband A Sultan, you can turn his nonsensical dream into a reality.

Something About the Way You Taste, Makes Me Want to Clear My Throat

Are We Not MenIs it fair to call yourself a fan if you base your devotion (see what I did there?) solely on a band’s debut album? This was the painfully embarrassing question I asked myself into a rearview mirror while meandering through 405 construction last night. Since as long as I can recall, I’d always been a Devo fan, but I’d only ever owned their first album, 1978’s Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

I was forced to ask myself, Q: Is it possible that this record is so prolific, so repeatedly nurturing of its innovative ingenuity, that any given listener (me) could throw caution to the wind (or the rest of this band’s mighty catalog), and view Devo exclusively as a 1978 widely misunderstood practical joke? A: Yes… you’re damn well right it’s possible.

We Are DevoRecorded in Germany and produced by none other than Brian Eno, Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo! is a head-pounding collection of 11 adult themed nursery rhymes ripe with uneasy repetition and punk-like snarls. Devo unearthed that perfect blend of proficient musicianship with the overwhelming desire to annoy any suspecting dropper of eaves to the point of nausea, and makes the term “nerd” seem unforgettably horrifying.

Smarts, attitude, and the means to welcome wave after wave of social backlash is certainly enough to make me a lifelong Devo fan, and it’s the perfect combination for creating a timeless and memorable album.

Did You Know?

DJ001Did you know that Adam “Ad-Rock” Horovitz of Beastie Boys fame wrote L.L. Cool J’s first single, I Need A Beat? Did you know that it was released in 1984, a full two years before the obnoxiously dominating full-length debut Licensed to Ill? Did you know that L.L. Cool was only 16 when he recorded this single?

Def JamDid you know that I Need A Beat was the debut record for the now prolific Def Jam Recordings, and is the owner of the coveted DJ001 catalog moniker? Did you know that this single, as well as L.L. Cool J’s 1985 full-length debut, Radio was produced by Rick Rubin? Did you know that Def Jam headquarters began and was run out of Rick Rubin’s NYU dorm room?

Well, now you do.

It’s Hard to Be Smart When You’re Young

MSDDrunk, angry and musically talented muggs who eat steel and drink gasoline should always be given a record contract. If indisputable evidence is indeed required, take a look at Empty Bottles, Broken Hearts, the 1998 release on Sub Pop by Seattle’s best, The Murder City Devils. Featuring the lumbering truck driver blues of every red-blooded fornicator who ever shoved a quarter into a vibrating jukebox, and back when bullying said jukebox actually meant something, MSD’s Ready for More was seldom, however overtly, and incorrectly overlooked.

BackLeft dormant and dingy amongst the filth and cold of my former Milwaukee winter days, The Murder City Devils seldom tend to resurface when things get a bit too heavy to bear. So, imagine my delight when I unconsciously find myself in the throes of another MSD bender, where the reigning cries of “I’m subtle, subtle like a T-Rex” knock the framed photos off my neatly painted walls. I shouldn’t necessarily be surprised, but every once and a while I’m caught off guard.

The Murder City Devils would have gotten a much more respectable write-up, had I not been served so much soul-cleansing rye. Perhaps next time, respect will prevail, but then again, that may be the whisky talking.