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Christmas with VIBRAPHONE and GUITAR

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Christmas in KillarneyIf Christmas were a time for heart-sucked mourning, or generally, if your dog, Holly, was just struck and killed by the mail truck (oh the sad, but delicious irony), Music for Christmas by Paul Carson would be JUST the dismal, grief-stricken, collection of anguished holiday hits that you’d give just about anything to forget.

Performed beautifully, this pipe organ-driven assortment of “holiday cheer” is a tear-stealing demon bent on sucking the hope clean dry from any and every last joy-expecting gentleman or woman within reasonable earshot, and succeeds in forcing those not too distant feelings of habitual skepticism right up to the surface in a boiling frenzy of left field emotion.

Bloody ChristmasWhat I’m saying here, is that this album is a Debra McDownerson, with her husband Daniel McDownerson and their 2 children, Doreen and Dennis McDownerson. If you’re looking for a little seasonal pick-me-up, LOOK ELSEWHERE, you poor, misguided sap! Music for Christmas by Paul Carson may seem as enticing as a 7-Eleven 1/3 lb hot dog, but as per usual, what is disguised as joyful elation is in fact forlorn regret in disguise. Merry Christmas… pass the tissues.

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A Cabbage Patch Christmas

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Cabbage Spatch“Man… how do you go from Johnny Cash to the Cabbage Patch Kids?!”

What can I say… I’m nothing if I’m not eclectic. Does that excuse me from owning A Cabbage Patch Christmas… probably (absolutely, most definitely) not. Is my head held high with the smug satisfaction that I can own any damn record I damn well please? Not really, but look at this cover! I mean, somebody, A TEAM, rather, drew up this idea, had meetings, scheduled a photo shoot where somebody, probably a poor PA was late due to a flat tire and was fired around the holidays. I’m sure there was a costume designer, a set builder, an Executive who complained that the snow didn’t look enough like “East Coast snow” (whatever the hell that means), there were probably lengthy discussions about what song the soulless field babies would sing, if the almost invisible lights in the bush and / or trees should be colored or Plain Jane boring white… and for what?! To sell dolls (read plastic and yarn).

Cabbage BackI’ve probably owned this record for several (10 or so) years, and I doubt I’ve ever listened to it. So, as I’m typing this and sucking down my morning brew, my virgin ears are (bleeding) being christened by somebody named Colonel Casey and a bunch of soil born kids, with decent singing ability (embrace it now, kid), as they meander through top 40 Christmas favs. Maybe my aging brain needs another round of hot genus coffea, but I don’t recall the Cabbage Patch Kids having such an outwardly southern feel. Banjos? Really? I mean, I’m all for banjos. I love Primus, but there’s just something about this album and the time it was put out (1984) that leaves me scratching my head (mainly because of an itch).

Alright. That’s it. Is Christmas over yet? No? Well, I hope it gets here soon. I’m running out of Christmas albums…

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The Man in Black Sings About Christmases of White

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JRJ. R. Cash was seldom shy about his faith. He was brought up on Baptist beliefs, was quoted 17 ways from Sunday commenting on his personal relationship with God, and wife June was inducted into the Christian Music Hall of Fame back in 2009. This 1963 album on Columbia Records stands as a shameless appreciation of this rugged man’s enormous heart, and shows that everyone, from Timbuktu to Kalamazoo, has a little classic country in them. Titled The Christmas Spirit, Mr. Cash masters that warmhearted holiday sentiment perfect for sitting fireside while heavy winds fight trees outside closed windows, and looming clouds sift a heavy helping of blanketed snow.

For me, anytime of year is a great time for Johnny Cash, but for some reason, maybe it’s his deep, fearless tone, the holidays are the best days for enjoying a little Man in Black. Don’t expect Brenda Lee or Chuck Berry on this album, they are more part of the sparkling, bubbling lights on the holiday music tree. Johnny Cash on the other hand, is the one shining star that rests atop this tree, creating that perfect, musical glow of holiday comfort and joy .

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A Christmas Filled With Partridges, Dysfunctional Families and Christmas Cards

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Partridge Family FrontIt’s getting close to Christmas, so I’ll admit that I know next to nothing about the Family Partridge. Then why, you ask, do I have their Christmas Card album? I can’t logically answer that. Oh, sure, I could offer you a string of hypothetical and misleading lies as to how and / or why I acquired this frolicking little collection of easy listening holiday nuggets of someone else’s nostalgia, but like I said, Christmas is coming, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to fib this close to the big day.

CardSo instead, I’ll (quickly) offer up what I THINK the Partridge Family is based on their (pear) tree decorating Christmas photo. So, you’ve got mom, who looks awful close in age to her son, David Cassidy, who ripped out, broke, and set fire to the hearts of adolescent girls the world over, then you’ve got big sister who has a giant goiter on her neck, and is constantly covering it up while pretending to play with her hair, then you got the little ones. The red headed kid I know was heavy into drugs, and is excited for, what I assume, was a neatly wrapped imported bong, while the others, probably neighbor kids, look at this glass flute in youthful amazement. A few questions… where’s dad? How old was mom when she had little David? Did dad die? Oh! Did mom shoot him for leaving her with five bratty kids?! Maybe the goiter on big sister’s neck is instead a defensive gunshot wound when drunken dad attempted to off the entire family! That might be a little racy for the 70s, especially on primetime television. I could just as easily head on over to the interwebs to verify this hypothetical assessment of this (dys) functional family, but instead, I’ll enjoy this sunshine popsicle album and imagine, all day, what the hell happened to dad.

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Santa Alpert & The Tijuana Elves

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Santa AlpertHerb Alpert and his talented band of merry elves deliver a stellar collection of wistful Christmas classics neatly wrapped in a “south of the border” sized box, with just the right amount of contemporary wrapping and an unforgettable horn-shaped bow. The standards, you ask? They’re here… Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Jingle Bell Rock, Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bells etc., as well the desperately playful Burt Bacharach number, The Bell that Couldn’t Jingle.

Tijuana ElvesReleased in 1968 on A&M Records, a label Mr. Alpert helped form (the A in A&M stands for Alpert… true story), this set of holiday hymns suffers from only one discriminating flaw… it is entirely too short. This album could easily be three times the length and still not cross that lingering line of awkward and incessant “is this album EVER gonna’ end” vibe. This album, like most everything Herb Alpert was involved with, is extravagant and considerably timeless. One thing is clear after listening to this album; I don’t listen to NEAR enough Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass. My list of New Year’s resolutions is growing exponentially. I blame Obama.

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Ambition Has its Flaws Volume 5

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Audio

Well, it’s December 15th, and with only 10 days until “the big one,” we’ll only have to drudge through only two more Christmas themed audio posts. Check out today’s tracklist:

1. The Ramones – Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)

2. The Chinkees – Christmas

3. The Flaming Lips – Christmas at the Zoo

4. The Promise Ring – Holiday Adam

5. Clifton Chenier – It’s Christmas Time

6. Lou Rawls – Merry Christmas, Baby

7. Sammy Davis Jr. – Christmas Time All Over the World

8. The Statler Brothers – I’ll Be Home for Christmas

All this Christmas music is starting to get to me… light at the end of the holiday tunnel.. HURRY UP AND GET HERE!

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A Thoughtful and Timely Christmas Gift from Brenda Lee

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Rockin FrontBrenda Lee was mindful enough to remember us this year, and put together a rip-roarin’ collection of rockabilly and surf rock tidings of good cheer to keep all of us, especially those in the colder regions, busy and movin’ this holiday season. Kickin’ off this 12-track comp (released in 1986 by MCA Records) is Little Miss Dynamite’s (aka Brenda Lee) 1958 classic, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. What follows is a musical sleigh ride of body movin’ classics from Bobby Helms & The Anita Kerr Singers, Dodie Stevens, the Surfaris, Chuck Berry and others (others is not a band, I just didn’t want to type up the rest of talented acts featured on this flawless album…).

Rockin BackThis record in particular generally gets more spins each holiday than the other knots in the holiday tree library. Played again, for the 3rd time just yesterday, I foresee (Brenda Lee Presents) Rockin’ Little Christmas to fill these walls at least three more times in 2013. After that she’ll head off to the dormant “Christmas section” and hibernate for a good 12 months. At this point, I’m just about over the whole Christmas music deal, but I agreed to something and I’m sticking with it (facepalm).

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Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus

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HB, BJNothing says Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus like the appropriately titled rock n’ roll comp, Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus. Released in 1993 on Sympathy for the Record Industry, a Washington-based, one-man-operated punk and garage rock label, HB, BJ captures that glorified sleaziness found within the smoke-filled, brawl-inducing dive bars scattered across this giant, rotating rock, but you know, with that perfect amount of stocking stuffed sincerity.

BackFeatured on this, borderline anti-Christmas rager are The New Bomb Turks, Rocket from the Crypt, Jackknife, The Humpers, Shitbirds, The Devil Dogs a many more! Act now and receive a free… or, wait… I’m not actually selling this album, but if you’re in the market for quality garage rock with a pinch of Christmas cheer, Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus is just the right amount of straight bourbon guzzling, tree decorating, sibling-shoving mess of holiday overindulgence.

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You Can Say There’s No Such Thing as Grandpa, But as for Me and Santa, We Believe

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GrandmaA renowned classic throughout the family for as long as I can remember, Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer was, for many Christmases, the soundtrack to the season. Mix in a few Brandy Old Fashioneds, the light accumulation of snow, and a warm room heated up by a wood-burning furnace, and you’ve got a Norman Rockwell painting of my early Christmas years.

As a young, little, mischievous ankle-biter, I’d heard, and was familiar with the name, Elmo & Patsy. Patsy was my grandfather’s nickname for my grandmother, and now that I’m older, I wonder if it was derived from this album. He’d give her a hard time about something, playfully of course, and would always end his boisterous rant with Patsy. My grandmother would laugh, almost embarrassed, which would then set the room into a joyous ruckus. My grandfather was great at that… setting an infectious, and heartfelt fire to a room. I miss him, but will always remember the little details of family Christmases thanks, in part, to this song. Egga Cleva anyone?

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Merrie (Melodies) Christmas!

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Bugs FrontAlthough MUCH is lost when Looney Tunes is stripped of its visual brilliance, the unmistakable talents of Mel Blanc are more than enough to make this LP of “four wonderful stories” a necessity for the holiday season.

Bugs TailFeatured on this collection are the pillars of the Looney Tunes franchise, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck (who didn’t make the cover, surprisingly), along with Yosemite Sam, Sylvester & Tweety, and the crowned king of calamitous camp, Elmer Fudd. Available here, with its special twist of Looney Tunage, are Bugs the Red-Nose Bunny, Santa-Claustrophobia, Holly Daze, and ‘Twas the Sight Before Christmas. Tracks that could have, but didn’t make the cut were Bugsy the Snowman, Don’t Eat Duck for Christmas, and Yosemite Sam Presents: Russian Roulette aka Red Christmas.

Sick of the same ol’ holiday schtick? Why not spice it up this season with a few, long-winded stories by the master of voice entertainment, Mel Blanc? Your inner child, and your 4-year-old nephew will thank you.

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O Tannenbaum aka A They Might Be Giants Christmas

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O Tannenbaum1993 was a good year for a lot of good reasons. Mainly, it saw this two-track holiday offering by the two Johns (Flansburgh and Linell) of They Might Be Giants. Featuring O Tannenbaum and the b-side Christmas Cards, this nifty little stocking stuffer comes on mistletoe green vinyl, and bridges that perfect gap between early 90s college rock and classic holiday warm and fuzzy music.

Christmas CardsAlthough released in 1993 (wow, that’s now 20 years ago!), both songs harbor that “timeless Christmas” vibe, and if you’re like me and enjoy the cheese-filled, gluttonous, help me forget about my everyday life kind of distraction, They Might Be Giants have a neatly wrapped 45 with your name on it. It’s under the tree next to the zeppelin and the Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle.

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Deck the Walls of Sound

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SpectorWe the jury find the accused, Phillip Harvey Spector, guilty on all counts… of spreading holiday cheer! What was originally dubbed as A Christmas Gift for You from Philles Records back in 1963, was re-released in 1972 on Apple Records with 1) a new title, Phil Spector’s Christmas Album, and 2) a new, Christmas-killing cover depicting the legendary producer dressed as a drunken Santa Claus. Personally, I feel Art Carney’s role as loaded Santa in the Twilight Zone episode, The Night of the Meek was a little more convincing, but ol’ gunslinger Phil does a decent job.

PhilThese 13 re-imagined Christmas classics by the likes of The Ronettes, The Crystals, Darlene Love and Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans are all produced by Phil Spector (obviously), and make for a fantastic, and well-rounded Christmas album. If you don’t already own it, or its 1963 original, seek it out. One can never have too many quality Christmas songs, even if their producer is a convicted murderer.

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Keeping Up With Grandma

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Grandma Can DrinkChristmas is approaching faster than Grandma can down a double eggnog, so let’s not waste our precious head funnels on anything other than pristine audio bliss. The Fireside Carolers do a magnificent job of romanticizing some of the holiday’s best ear cocktails in that down-home, get the hell off my lawn kind of way. Decent enough for just about one spin on the ol’ turntable of love, Let’s All Sing our Christmas Favorites makes for fascinating background music, perfect for filling the empty walls when you and your loved ones are out making trouble with the neighborhood kids. What I’m saying is, although performed exceptionally well, these organ-supported band of carolers need to take a backseat when it comes to proper, more upbeat Christmas music. You catch my drift? No offense, Fireside Carolers. You’re good enough to knock Grandma out, although, much of the credit should be given to the bourbon. Cheers to the holidays, or as Grandma says, “Shiers totha hol-idssss.”

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Santa Sunburn

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Santa SunburnNothing says another year is about to be sucked into the great void of forgotten memories quite like a collection of 18 Christmas songs from Broadway Records and Container-Kraft of Los Angeles. If you don’t believe me, maybe Santa Sunburn and his waving 2-ton mitten (probably ringing wet with Santa sweat… it’s warm here during the holidays) will convince you. With “Christmas favorites old and new for young and old,” from kiddies to grannies and all the naysayers in between, each and every ear will be bleeding that sweet blood of Christmas joy.

Santa Trumpet BlowerFor best results use sharp needle.

All the classics are here. From White Christmas to Auld Lang Syne, and from Bring A Torch Jeanette Isabella to The Shepherd’s Carol, this album is your one-stop-shop for getting your humble abode (and that of your neighbor if your walls are thin enough) into that warm and fuzzy mood.

An outstanding value in top quality phonograph records.

Mainly, I just use this album for decoration during the holidays. I doubt I’ve ever even played it. Happy Monday, folks!

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Ambition Has its Flaws Volume 3

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Audio

Well, it’s late, but k’mon, man! These things take time! Enjoy the beginnings of the festive holiday with works from Dean Martin, Country Mike (the Beastie Boys), R2-D2 & C-3PO, Joe Pesci, The Kinks, The Smothers Brothers, Rocket from the Crypt, the Capitol Studio Orchestra, The Dismemberment Plan, and the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Make your ears bleed red will these irreverent boughs of holly, courtesy of The Prudent Groove.

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Men in Motion

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Men in MotionIt’s not entirely difficult to consider this Seattle-based foursome adequate participants of the late 70s, early 80s sewer-like wave of repressed energy, known today as punk, or as my Mother likes to call it, “the Devil’s music.” Missing, or rather, subdued is the raw, misguided anger found in Los Angeles and San Francisco based punk acts of the time. In its place resides the mature, but no less angry, rhythmically brilliant 1/3 new wave, 1/3 minimalist indie-rock, and 1/3 punk-influenced musicianship that somehow gets lost amongst the 33-year-old haze that was 1980.

BlackoutsBlackouts (here losing the The… on a side note and completing having nothing to do with this post, do you remember The The?) consisted of future RevCo, Ministry, R.E.M. (you read that right), Pigface, KMFDM (to name only a few) drummer Bill Rieflin, Roland Barker (brother of Revco, Ministry, Lead into Gold, Lard, PTP, Acid Horse, U.S.S.A. bassist Paul Barker… who would join this band immediately following the release of this EP), as well as Erich Werner and Mike Davidson, of whom I know virtually nothing about. Phew! That’s a lot of band-name dropping there, but you can begin to see the overall scope of this band’s, and subsequently, this EP’s brilliance. Or, maybe you can’t and you’d much prefer the screeching yelps of Katy Perry, or God forbid, Madonna! Either way, this 4-track EP comes highly recommended and should prove for an interesting listen if nothing else.

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None More Black Friday

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Smell the GloveToday, as you ford across the violent sea of flailing limbs and bargain-hunting rage, don’t miss our once-in-a-lifetime-actually-once-in-a-year sale to end all sales! That’s right! As if you haven’t already heard, The Prudent Groove is having a 24-minute sale on everything in our store! Check out the “Store” button on the top for your chance to save THOUSANDS on Prudent Groove swag! Newly added to the online store are Prudent Groove t-shirts (sizes XS – M) available in both blood red and midnight black, The Prudent Groove hummingbird feeder, The Prudent Groove flower pots (complete with grade A Prudent Groove soil), The Prudent Groove candles available in the following delicious scents: wet dog, bong water, and burnt fish, The Prudent Groove red wine vinegar and extra, extra, extra virgin olive oil set, and The Prudent Groove jumper cables, to name just a few.

The holidays are right around the corner, down a block, and sandwiched between the recently closed VHS only video rental store and the Hardware Hank, so do yourself a favor. Save your time, money, and any last glimpses of sanity and complete all your year end shopping in one easy click. The Prudent Groove store, your new favorite place for all the things you never knew you never wanted.

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Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme AKA Ode to a 21-Pound Bird

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Happy ThanksgivingWith well wishes a-plenty seemingly BURSTING forth from the generous and thankful hearts belonging to us over here at The Prudent Groove, we hope you all are, at this very moment, stuffing your gullets, as well as your ears, with the wonderful delights of family, friends, food, autumnal music, and the appetizing reflection of all the many things we can all be thankful for. Now, get off the internet and enjoy a drink with your brother, your mother, your 7-year-old nephew, and / or your sweetheart. Thank you for reading and no, you cannot have any of our 21-pound turkey. Sorry… I dig you guys, I sincerely do, but there is a line, and ain’t no man, beast, or lure of a promising future gonna’ come between me and the devilishly delightful overindulgence that is Thanksgiving. Ok, fine, I’ll invite you over for the 7 days of leftovers we’ll undoubtedly, and willingly have. Just be sure to bring the tunes. Deal? Deal.

Happy Thanksgiving to every-one!

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Go Where You Wanna Go…

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Go Where You Wanna GoLike the rising of the sun, or the cock-a-doodle-doo of the morning rooster, it’s there to kick things off, leaving all others to follow its lead. It’s a record that can change, be replaced, or be bumped into the absorbing sea of “others.” It’s a record that is bound to no genre or geographical location. It is never fixed with any specific label, or particular year of distribution. Not one distinct instrument is a requirement for this record’s grooves, and it can quite possibly represent the listening personality of its hoarding owner.

Every collector owns this record, but 99.9% of the time no two are alike. This record goes by many names, and is more times than not located in the top left corner. This record is the beginning of whatever organized structure you’ve adopted. For me, it’s Up, Up and Away by The 5th Dimension which, if you think about it, is a pretty damn good invitation to explore the vast world of any music library be it on this, or any dimension.

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Country Mike’s Greatest Hits

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Country Mike1 part country to 2 parts not-too-serious fun, Country Mike’s Greatest Hits is yet another prime example of how the Beastie Boys could, and did play and release just about any genre of music.

What was, I believe, originally given out to family and friends of the band as holiday gifts back in 2000, has since been booted and currently brushes sleeves with the Scientists of Sound – The Blow Up Factor 12” and the Mickey Finn remix of Body Movin’ on my record shelf.

Country Mike Has Your Back, SonIs this album good? Define good. Okay… would you compare it to say, the likes of The Man in Black, or Willie Nelson? Absolutely not. Is it country? Yes… but with a DJ and plenty of scratching. Okay… Would you recommend it to someone with an open mind who enjoys discovering new music whether or not the Beastie Boys are necessarily his or her thing? Wholeheartedly and without question.