In all its unorganized, selfishly-inept misery, here is the overflow of miscellaneous tomfoolery, that which I have no Earthly idea what to do with, aka, the byproduct of one’s collection. 10″s, 78s, 7″s, 45s, slipmats, random inserts, vacant sleeves / covers… all of these random orphans make up the corner of the office, whose permanent location needs severe and well-planned consideration.
Tag Archives: 7″
I’m Down with the Boys Beastie
What’s not to love about a bootleg of the Beastie Boys covering their version of a Beatles song?! This unofficial 7″ from 2013 is as hilarious as it is historical. From the bird on the cover (here) to the Licensed to Ill-era schoolboy lyrics, the Beasties’ version of I’m Down has the classic Def Jam hip hop power guitar you’d expect, and I’m not even joking, their reworked lyrics are gut-bustingly priceless. The quote on the back of the sleeve, however, takes the cake.
“After a long pause, Michael Diamond responds to a question about Michael Jackson, who as owner of the publishing rights to the Beatles’ songs, refused the Beasties permission to put their own customized version of the Fab Four’s ‘I’m Down’ on their album. ‘What would I do if I met him?’ Mike D says. ‘I’d unplug his oxygen tent, rip off his surgical mask and spit in his face.'”
– Los Angeles Times, February 1, 1987
Classic D. This Chinese release is limited to 249 copies on explicative pink vinyl, was a holiday gift from some well-knowing family members, and comes highly recommended.
RIP MCA.
So What…
Record on the right, the 1986 black vinyl (vs yellow or blue… le sigh) Super Seven Records release, So What if We’re on Mystic! EP. The record on the left, one of the 126 Inches of NOFX box set from 2012 of the same name. The original was one of the first records sought after in my early collecting days. You see, Bob Turkee, the dick that he may be, was my favorite song for a good year or so, and I needed to own a copy of its origin. NOFX, or No F-X as it were, have come a long way, but they’ve (arguably) never exceeded their crowning achievement, Bob Turkee.
Pro-Analog, Anti-Government
Haven’t listened to it yet, but the latest addition to the virus of a collection is the 1992 split from Rocket from the Crypt and Dead Bolt titled, Smells Like Grease for Peace. One more record to check off the RFTC checklist, and one more that wasn’t gobbled up by the strict and deviant void that is the United States Postal Service. Still waiting on my Time Hardin and Rocket 45s, you rat-bastards!
Speed Kills!
Sometimes when you’re piecing together the rooted discography of your favorite band, you opt for, “the works.” 1993’s Ghetto-Box Rock found its release within issue #4 of Speed Kills Magazine. This virgin copy has yet to be extracted from its source, and currently lives like a cocoon of motor music history.
Delorean
$16 shipped?! Are you kidding me?! RFTC split 7” w/ The Hellacopters from Gearhead Mag issue #10 back in ’99?! I mean, k’mon now, people! That’s a great fuggin’ deal (ebay)! Needless to say, I’m one notch closer on the RFTC belt, and a bit (overly) excited about this one…
311 for Sale
So, I made a mistake with this purchase, mainly for two separate, but strikingly similar reasons. Reason #1: I’m an idiot. Reason #2: I’m an idiot. When I initially saw this release pop up on the RSD checklist, I stupidly thought it was a reissue of one of their early singles or EPs, and not a 2-track nub of material released after I’d already disowned the band. That, in a nutshell, is Reason #1. I didn’t do my homework, and now I’m $10 poorer. Reason #2 is a bit more complicated, but just as foolhardy. Because I exhibit obsessive-compulsive behavior and want to maintain the stupid-ass Record Store Day sticker on the plastic shrink wrap, I can’t tell with a degree of certainty which way the sealed sleeve opens. All other RSD 7″‘s purchased open on the right like a standard LP, but I’m not so sure with 311’s release. The only other option would be the top, but I’m not seeing a definitive opening with which to start my blade. So, here it sits.. unwanted, and unopened. 311 for sale.
16 / 100
Real Damage, The Gossip / Tracy + The Plastics split 7″ was limited to 100, hand-numbered, screen printed copies, and was acquired, to the best of my knowledge, at a Har Mar Superstar show at the Empty Bottle in Chicago. The Gossip opened up for Har Mar, and totally blew me and my party away, and is a great prop to scratch that electro-garage-rock itch. Real Damage also has a grey marble vinyl release, as well as a pink vinyl release, both with a different, much more produced covers. The more you know, I guess… 
The Name of the Band is Rocket from the Crypt
Listen, I know I sound like a broken record here, but I’m stuck under a Rocket from the Crypt sized cloud without an umbrella and it’s friggin’ POURING! Do you hear what I’m saying?! A stronger man may be able to control these things, themselves, but by God, I am not a strong man.
VIVA LA CRYPT!!!
(Photo taken from inside gatefold of the 1994 Rocket from the Crypt / Bloodthirsty Butchers split 7”, so, there you go.)
Super Seven Sampler #2
Obsessions are born, not necessarily made. Am I willing to save up, and eventually fork over $1k for a Rocket from the Crypt record, perhaps… does this tidbit of information have ANYTHING to do with tonight’s gesture? Well, decidedly, no. Released in 1985 on both (this) blue, and white vinyl, this 7-track 7” titled, Mystic Records Super Seven Sampler #2 features some pretty solid hardcore licks from Doggy Style (not what you think), Wall Flowers (again, not at all what you think), and the then titled, NO F-X. $10 for this guy back in 1998 was a bit of a head scratcher, but looking back, I can’t imagine ever thinking twice about this record’s purchase. Indulge the senses, kiddos!
Don’t Call Me White
Back when I was hunting 45’s, 1994’s Don’t Call Me White by West Coast aggravators NOFX was #1 on my list of elusive releases. Still not in possession of an original, yours truly acquired this re-issue within the 2012 18-record box, 126 Inches of NOFX – Singles Collection.
There’s a Lag in the Wagon
Released in October of ’92 to help promote their debut album Duh, the first 7” by Lagwagon (or, listed here as Lag Wagon) is a bit of a beast to find. I’ve personally never seen an original, but one can be had over at Discogs for a cool $107.29. As the label, Fat Wreck Chords states:
Lagwagon’s first 7″. 2 songs from Duh. WAY outta print. Good luck finding this one. We don’t even have one.
Fortunately for us Johnny-come-latelies, Fat re-issued this 22-year-old record back in 2011 with the mega-11-record box set, Lagwagon – Putting Music in its Place, which is where I was finally able to get my grubby little hands on a copy.
In a Relaxation Como
Relax… you’ve earned it. But even if you haven’t, disguise your bourbon in a dainty tea cup, bathe yourself in the lavish frills of your favorite evening gown, close your rose-markered book and enjoy the provocative exclamations of the one, the only, Perry Como.
Better make it quick, as this is just a violent tease of Como-inspired relaxation. With only four tracks, your momentary break from the chaotic endeavors of everyday life will swiftly blow away, like the cool, lamenting breeze from the relaxation King, Mr. Perry Como.
Become a Columbia/Epic A&R Advisor for Only $3.00
If you get a few moments, read this inventive mail-order program aimed at late 60s music connoisseurs (I’m assuming it’s from the late 60s as it was found in an album from 1968).
Basically, you’d send Columbia Records $3 ($19.53 by today’s inflation-soaked, nightmare-inducing terms) and over the course of one year, you’d receive 10 special, “7-inch or 33 1/3 sampler records containing unreleased or just-released songs by new people and groups.” After receiving these records, it was your duty as an A&R Advisor to inform Columbia Records which songs tickled your fancy, and which were better suited for the vinyl graveyard, also known as St. Vincent De Paul.
A fairly elaborate concept to comprehend today, given that the same back and forth info-swap between record labels and faithful listeners is now done via the cloud and email, this little piece of music history shows that just because it’s pressed doesn’t mean it’s good, and that just because it’s backed by a label, doesn’t mean they know what the hell they’re doing.
There’s hope for us yet.
The Prudent Groove 