“Let’s Get Those Missiles Ready to Destroy the Universe!” – John Flansburgh

She Was AAside from bouncing around inside my head all morning, the visually vibrant storytelling of 1988’s For Science by the Johns (Flansburgh & Linnell of They Might Be Giants) serves up catchy ridiculousness and uproarious nonsense as it forces a beaming smile with a genuine and creative quickness that few other late 80s alternative acts could match.

The song clocks in at only 1:19, but manages to setup an entire, otherworldly environment in which a Newscaster announces discovery of a Venus spacecraft. Like they do, a member of the military, in this case Lt. Anne Moore, calls for volunteers to meet with the intergalactic creatures, and does it with a smoking hot selling point: Have no fear. Have no fear. You will be killed right away. After this, a Male Lead offers his body, and his heart to the Girl from Venus for, you guessed it, science. This gentlemanly gesture seems to have worked since Lt. Moore proclaims: He’s so brave. He’s so brave. He’ll be her love slave forever. And with that, all is once again right with the universe.For Science Lyrics

For Science appears on the 12” Maxi-Single, (She Was A) Hotel Detective released by Bar None Records so yeah, it has that going for it.

… Getting Ready to Sing Auld Lang Sine Out of Tune

The PlanAs we struggle to gasp for the last remaining breaths of 2013, few certainties remain that remind us just how far the sailing ship of man has yet to trek. 1) People will continue to ignore their wailing car alarms at 4am, 2) that strengthening divide between wonder and disdain will persistently drift further apart and 3) if you don’t believe The Ice of Boston by The Dismemberment Plan to be the quintessential New Year’s Eve song, then you are the poster child for our collective lack of progress.

The Ice of Boston perfectly captures that self-reflecting social collapse that pits us squarely in the face of our central, unabashed core. There is no escaping this chamber of truth, and though the bulk of us spend a series of lifetimes attempting to ignore and dismiss our gut reactions, we seldom ever completely dissolve our issues by year’s end, and go along in celebrating another 365 steps closer to death. Sometimes it’s healthy to abandon hope with the ringing in of a new year, and sometimes our mental metamorphosis can create lucrative opportunities we may not have otherwise perceived.

The Plan never released The Ice of Boston on vinyl, which is indeed an unfortunate reality. The single off their 1997 album, The Dismemberment Plan is Terrified, The Ice of Boston EP (on compact disc) remains the sole release by the band on Interscope Records, and is without question a necessity amongst any serious music collector.

If you haven’t heard the track, make it numero uno on your 2014 list of overly-ambitious resolutions. You can find it easily enough on youtube or download it on iTunes for only $0.99. Whether you’re from the east coast of Sri Lanka or North America, the ice of wherever can, and usually will be dark and slippery.

Here’s to another goddamn new year!

Lightning Man

Lightning ManNitzer Ebb’s Lightning Man was one of three singles to emerge from their third album, 1990’s Showtime. Originating in Essex, Nitzer Ebb is pure, unadulterated EBM (electronic body music) also known as industrial dance. My sincere apology if you already knew that.

Released on merciless Mute Records (definitely a label with which to go back and explore if quality electro is your thing), this 2-track 12” is a good example of the band’s refined maturity that spanned the three short years since their debut album, That Total Age. Lightning Man, and especially the b-side, Who We Are harbor deep, imposing, and often deliberately sluggish layers of sexy EBM that, sans vocals, would work perfect as film score. As is, it makes for a fantastic, yet unfortunately short listen.

In-A-Gadda-Da-Velveeta

Iron HalftimeNothing, and I quite literally mean NOTHING says Sunday afternoon football and snacks with family and loved ones like the throat-piercing hook of Iron Butterfly’s In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.

While my folks and SO are upstairs enjoying halftime snacks and drinks, I’m riding the psychedelic roller coaster in the basement (man, do I miss basements), enjoying some homemade sangria, and of course, this 17-minute opus.

Halftime should be long enough for an entire album, don’t you think? Anyway, I hope everybody is enjoying this wet, rainy Midwestern day as much as I am.

When the Block’s A’Rockin’ Don’t Come A’Knockin’

BeatsBlock Rockin’ Beats was the first Chem Bros track I’d ever heard. Stupidly mistaking it for Hip Hop, I was properly schooled, then introduced to the slam-happy genre that is Big Beat.

Chances are, you’ve heard this Grammy winning song on TV, in a film, or blasting from the alley around the corner from where you get those delicious French pastries. If you haven’t enjoyed this, which I’m convinced is the Chemical Brothers’ most popular track, you should take it for a spin around the ol’ block.

Editor’s note: I’ll be out of the office on holiday for a bit and will, obviously, be away from my music library. I haven’t decided exactly what I’ll post about, but come hell or higher gasoline prices, I’ll post something after every sunup. I’m sincerely looking forward to getting the hell out of Los Angeles for a little while.

Frankie Say War! Hide Yourself

AnnihalationIs that a Ronald Reagan look-alike grabbing his nether regions in apocalyptic agony? Why, yes, it is. Following the international success of their first single, Relax, Frankie Goes to Hollywood released the anti-war, half tongue-in-cheek, half a bit-too-close-to-home, funk-friendly dance anthem, Two Tribes.

Accompanied by an outrageous video, Two Tribes broke a whole bunch of UK chart records that, at the time, I was completely oblivious to. To be fair, in 1984 my daily routine consisted of dropping my Bespin Han Solo action figure from a covered bridge in a suicidal leap just in time for my electric train to speed by and run him over. Han survived, and was able to go on fighting the good fight (that was, until Joe & Cobra infiltrated my childhood just a few short years later).

ReaganFocusing on the hyper-exaggerated (he said jokingly) possibility of global nuclear war, Frankie & crew regurgitated a positive product from an extremely negative scenario. If you ask me, and you didn’t, Two Tribes withstood the test of time, and should serve as a welcome accompaniment to any record collection, regardless of which side of the fence your political beliefs may fall.

Daft or Dumb

Stormy PinknessOkay, either I’m extremely daft, or my short-term memory is completely shot! I’ve had this (ahem) “Limited Edition 4 Track 12” Featuring Daddy-O Remix + Colour ‘Flood’ Poster” (phew) of the gonna-break-your-head-it’s-so-damned-catchy single, Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by a personal favorite, They Might Be Giants for more years than I’m willing to admit. Fact.

White Tornado My FootOkay? So what, you ask. Well, upon perusing my collecting looking for something to catch my ear, I noticed this nice little sticker indicating how this 12” originally came with a poster. Remember when posters were a thing? Shamefully, I do too. Anywho, not thinking much about it, I nabbed it and offered a whimsical yet vaguely hopeful gander to confirm what I already knew… there would be no poster. Imagine my jaw-dropping surprise when, there was, in fact, a “Colour ‘Flood’ Poster!” It was almost like rediscovering a thumb! Okay, maybe not that monumental, but now all I have to do is convince my GF that our apartment needs, no, DESERVES a Colour ‘Flood’ Poster. My money says the poster will stay right where it is.

Great! Now I’m on a They Might Be Giants fix!

On a side note, if you play the beginning of Flood at 45rpm, the intro sounds like something straight out of Munchkin Land. Just sayin’.

Love Missile F1-11

Sigue FrontThe year was 1986, and it was about (damn) time that Ferris Bueller took (another) day off. Kicking off the alluring, and jaw-dropping, sex-rocket album, Flaunt It, Love Missile F1-11 owns the distinct pleasure of (indefinitely) changing the unforeseen boundaries of music’s indefinable landscape. Nothing before had been conceived, and few since carry the weight of changing one’s perspective on “what music can be” in a simple four minute and 48 second electro-mind-grinding lullaby.

If you’ve seen the John Hughes masterpiece, you’ve heard Love Missile F1-11. Kicking off with the (often) repeated phrase, “I wanna be a star!” this synth-happy, loop-clinging, guitar wailing love tune does (very) little to disguise its overtly sexual (over/under) tones. The line, “Shoot it up!” does not refer to any form of dragon chasing. “There goes my love, rocket-red.” You get the idea.

Sampling Mozart, gunshots, (what sounds like) ray guns, and perfectly timed explosions, Love Missile F1-11 is a seizure –inducing wall of sound that forces you (the listener) to (mentally) salivate and knock over old ladies who may stand in the way of another breathtaking fix.

Sigue Sigue Sputnik is certainly NOT for everyone, and prodigiousness wouldn’t have it any other way.

Oh, the Summer of 1998

IntergalacticMy fondness for the summer of 1998 stands unmatched (as far as late 90s summers are concerned). I’d spent the bulk of my high school years blasting Beastie beats (much to my parents’ dismay), and that summer’s theme song, Intergalactic, would prove to be the first Beastie Boys single in nearly four years (a streak of lifetimes when you’re between the ages of 15 and 19).

I distinctly remember listening to the radio (an extremely rare thing at the time, and a practice exclusively unheard of today), waiting to hit play + record on my cassette player in the hopes of capturing this new, legendary song. The single was released in mid-May, but in Madison, Wisconsin, if you weren’t present when ANY Beasties single was displayed, your chances of obtaining one were next to nil. This was 1998, before the internet as we now know it, and a full year before Napster. Back then, if you wanted music, you had to hunt, and often times, you came home empty handed.

It’s sad to admit, but I’ve all but disowned Intergalactic now, along with its album, Hello Nasty. However, I’ll never forget the perpetual excitement that stuck to my early adulthood (not unlike Midwestern humidity), and this cover, above all others, transforms a weary man in his mid 30s back into a wide-eyed, overly vocal, and optimistic young man. Oh, the summer of 1998.

Walk Like an Egyptian

WalkDon’t stroll like an Ethiopian, hike like a Brazilian, ramble like a German, tread like a Moroccan, march like an Indonesian, or holiday like a Cambodian… instead, walk (don’t run) like an Egyptian.

With a killer bassline and a catchy chorus, The Bangles found chart-topping success in the fall of 1986 with their #1 hit single, Walk Like an Egyptian. The fall of 1986… right around the time I was starting the 2nd grade.

I loved this track as a kid, and found a fresh new appreciation for it within the past few years, mainly due to the truck-driving bassline… not to mention that as a whole, this 80s single truly withstands the test of time.

If you haven’t in a while, Walk Like an Egyptian… you’ll have plenty of time to wait in traffic like a Los Angeleno, so why not give it a spin.

Enough Bass to Make Your Neighbors Call the Cops

LoopsWith little to no time today, I present Loops of Fury by the Chem Bros. Featured in the Playstation game, Wipeout 2097 (and released on the jam-packed, gonna-make-your-ears-bleed, but in a good way, soundtrack to the game titled, you guessed it, Wipeout 2097: The Soundtrack), Loops of Fury is a perfect example of late 90s Chem Bros, and stands as a highlight of Big Beat music in general.

With enough bass to make your neighbors call the cops, Loops of Fury would make a great addition to any collection, especially if pissing off your neighbors is your style.

Galvanize

GalvanizeOn the platter today is the electro-hypnotizing single, Galvanize by the Chemical Brothers. This (devilishly) catchy little number features A Tribe Called Quest’s own Q-Tip, and was the first single from the 2005 album, Push the Button. This particular 12” is a not-so-rare US promo, and features an alternate cover, as well as the previously unreleased track, Rize Up.

This is now the third Chem Bros post focusing on the cover/insert art as apposed to the actual music. Grab a seat because I’ve got 22 more to go. Basically, when I’m in a hurry and need to hammer out a post (see what I did there… because of the hammer on the cover… never mind), I’ll turn to the Chem Bros for their attention demanding album designs. Yes, I tend to get a bit lazy from time to time.

Cowgirls from the Underworld

CowgirlI’m still trying to track down Underworld’s 1994 brilliant, Dubnobasswithmyheadman, so for now, I’ll have to settle on one of the many highlights from that album, their pivotal, dance party anthem, Cowgirl.

Presented on this 12” is a slightly longer version of the track (adding 26 seconds to the version found on the album), as well as a non-album gem titled, Rez. Both tracks feature electro-body-gyrating-rhythms-of-mind-melting-ecstasy perfect for long drives in the rain, angry walks to the post office, and generally any time when you want to please your mind’s eye (provided your mind’s eye likes to groove).

Dubnobasswithmyheadman was a breakthrough for Underworld, but I’ll get into that once I finally track down a copy. Underworld, the audio cloud of precipitating pleasure is not affiliated with the (throwaway) film series by the same name… nor should it be. Logod

If I Had No Loot

No Loot Cover1993 was an interesting year. I was 14, and back then, New Jack Swing was alive and violently flowing from the radio waves like a raging river of hip hop and dance-pop fusion, but you know, with tight-rolled Z Cavaricci’s and LA Gear footwear.

Shifting away from spoon-fed radio, for me, was a slow burn.  We only had two radio stations that played anything other than Western or Country, and the closest record store was something like 40 miles away. A bit too far for me and my trusty BMX, as it turned out.

No Loot BackIf I Had No Loot was a recent purchase, a $1 thrift store find actually, and serves as one of those “throwback” records that I’ll frequent when the thoughts of my younger years slowly begin to seep through the thin layer of 2013 reality. Other bands that fit this category include Animotion, Tone-Lōc, Paula Abdul, R.E.M., Prince, Jane’s Addiction, Faith No More and Pet Shop Boys (I was a confused kid).

For all its amazing shortcomings, If I Had No Loot still manages to stand its ground, and is as catchy and enjoyable as when I heard it for the first time screaming from Z-104 (104 FM) out of Madison, WI. People say music is timeless. I say, music is a time casket, emerging from yesteryear like a Pepe jean, Hypercolor shirt wearing zombie.

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain

JohnCreedence Clearwater Revival is known for their astonishing hooks, John Fogerty’s surmountable voice, and the focus of today’s post, their definitive, coherent lyrics. I present to you, in their entirety, the lyrics to CCR’s 1970 masterpiece, Travelin’ Band, or as I like to call it, Travelin’ Bain.

 

737 commin’ outta’ da sky

Oh’won’tcha take muh down’ta Memphis onna mid-night right-ah

I wown-moo

Hayin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

But I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain

Tag me to tha hotel

Baggage gone, oh well

Come own, come own, won’tcha get me to my roo

I wown-moo

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

Well I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain

Lizard to the radio

Tom and Bob the last show

Summon got excited had to call state Melissa

I wown-moo

Hayin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

But I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain, oh-wow

Hair we come a gain onna’ Saturday night

Oh well yo fussin’ and yo fightin’

Won’t you get meh to the rye

I wown-moo

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

Well I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain, oh-wow

Oil payin’ inna travelin’ bain

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain

Wanda get me tell my hair

But I’m payin’ inna travelin’ bain

And I’m fine ‘cause I laugh, try to get a hair

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain, oh-wow

1970: Long As I Can See the Light/Lookin’ Out My Back Door

Light LabelFor the next 30 posts, or until I get bored, the post number will correspond with the year in which the post’s subject was released. It could be an album review, a song highlight, or an insert advert. The choices are by no means the best of any given year, nor are they my favorite. They are instead a representation of the digable grooves in my collection, broken down by year. With me? Ok, cool.

For 1970 (post #70), I’ve chosen CCR’s (Creedence Clearwater Revival) Long As I Can See the Light/Lookin’ Out My Back Door 45. CCR had some driving, Southern Rock-inspired jams in their heyday, and Long As I Can See the Light is NOT one of them. This is not to say it is inferior in any way. On the contrary. With its simple lyrics and low-key, slow-rollin’ drawl, Long As I Can See the Light reminds us that we can always go back to where we came from, so long as the offer is still extended. We all, at one point or another, feel the need to move on… to explore the vast unknown of uncertainty. But we’d like not to dismiss the comfort of returning home, when it becomes undeniably necessary.

Back Door LabelI can’t hear Lookin’ Out My Back Door and not picture the Dude smokin’ a jay and banging the roof of his car to Doug Clifford’s beat. It was used perfectly in The Big Lebowski, but given the song’s brilliance, I’d imagine this song would fit perfectly in any film that featured it.

My favorite line is, without question, “A dinosaur Victrola listening to Buck Owens.” In a song bursting with visual abnormalities (“A statue wearing high heals” or “Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band” for example), the image of an old Victrola shouting Buck Owens ditties always makes me chuckle. It’s easy to picture John Fogerty mentally returning to a happy place during the drug-induced hallucination he sings about in this song, and it’s generous of him to take us along on that ride.

I could have easily focused on Zeppelin III, Lola Versus Powerman and the Moneygoround – Part One, Dylan’s Self Portrait, McCartney’s solo debut, Joni Mitchell’s Ladies of the Canyon, or even Bitches Brew, but for me, 1970 screams Creedence Clearwater Revival.

April Come She Will

Sounds CoverApril has come (as if you didn’t know), and she brought with her an excuse to write about one of my all-time favorite songs: Simon & Garfunkel’s April Come She Will.

You wouldn’t know by listening to it, but it’s actually a pretty short song. Clocking in at only 1:49, April Come She Will is the shortest track on the 1966 masterpiece, Sounds of Silence. Although written by Paul, April’s sweet melodic melon collie was sung by Art. It must have been difficult for Mr. Garfunkel to go to work each day. I mean, sure, Art Garfunkel is great in his own right… great singer, great range, but his partner is Paul freakin’ Simon! One wonders how powerful Simon & Garfunkel would have been without Art. Maybe he was the man behind the successful curtain. Who knows?

April LyricsApril Come She Will is the prefect soundtrack for those moments when you just wished you were somewhere else. Alone, walking between silent, somber trees, or alone, walking amongst a sea of warm strangers, this dreary song reminds us that new eventually becomes old, and judging by the song’s length, how quickly that can happen. A kind of hopeless notion if you think about it.

May April offer you blossoming new beginnings, and may September not rob you of the aging beauty of those beginnings. Old doesn’t need to lose its alluring frenzy. We just need to be reminded of how new it once was. Here’s hoping September doesn’t forget to remind us.

Reform and Bust

JLIt’s comforting, just how powerful the sadness of others can be. One man’s sadness is another man’s solace, I always say (I’ve never said that).  I’m not saying go out and make someone cry, I’m just saying the emotional release that some artists offer can be a wonderful companion.

While painting pictures of our ancestors desecrating the Plaines of our nation’s majestic beauty, Jeffrey Lewis & The Junkyard offer a beautiful imagine of how the diseased minds of those ancestors would respond upon seeing their failed endeavors being overtaken by beautiful, luscious flowers. “Let us sacrifice our time, our family’s time, our souls, our worries, and our lives to the building of this conveyance called, the railroad… then lets abandon our progress and allow for nature’s beauty to restake her claim,” said no one ever! Probably because “restake” isn’t an actual word.

8Bugs & Flowers is a rolling wave of solace. It’s that much needed alleviation when you had no Earthly idea you were in desperate need of it. Clocking in at 4:13, Bugs & Flowers is the comfort from a loved one that you want never to leave your side, but eventually always does. The entire album could be this song repeated, 11 times and show no hint of getting old. Melancholy is a powerful thrill.

Throughout the song, Mr. Lewis talks of taking a solitary walk in the forest over a series of deteriorating crossties. Along this self-reflecting journey, he comments on the backs of shiny bugs, infinite dust, and crosstie devouring flowers.

It’s difficult sometimes, when the whiskey takes over. It’s as though solemn innocence loses its struggling will to survive. Lucky for me there’s a soundtrack to this struggle.

Do You Take Sugar? One Lump or Two?

SugarAlternate titles to today’s post are 1) The Groove Gets Nostalgic, 2) My Undeniable Infatuation With This Song, and the Reason My Father Hated It, and 3) So What If I Had Def Leppard Posters Up on My Walls as A Kid.

Def Leppard. It took me a few years to realize how much of a rip-off their name was, or, to put it more lovingly, how much of a COINCIDENCE it is that their name mirrors the mighty Led Zeppelin. If you’ve never seen this mind-blowing parallel, here it is:

Def Leppard

Led Zeppelin

Notice 1) the three letter first word, 2) the second letter to the first word being an E, 3) the first word having one syllable, 4) the second word containing EPP, and 5) that I may be obsessing over this a bit too much… nah!

My father, whose favorite band was Led Zeppelin, always seemed to have it out for Def Leppard and specifically the song, Pour Some Sugar on Me. This may have been because it was a striking departure from the music of his youth, but more likely it was because I played this song… ad nauseam… everyday… for like, two years! Can you blame me? I was eight! I know, I’m still making my round of apologies.

Pour Some Sugar on Me was the Stairway to Heaven of my youth. It spoke to me in a language I’d never heard, but instantly understood. I wanted to share my feeling of exceeded joy with any and everyone who would listen. More times than not, my biggest audience consisted of one individual… my cat.

One could say I got burned out on this song. A sensation, at the time, I’d never experienced. I’ll still give the ol’ girl a spin now and again. And when I do, I’m back in my bedroom, frantically trying to learn the lyrics, and understand what “sugar” actually meant.

I won’t go into how I used to hide my arm in my t-shirt and pretended to drum like Def Leppard’s Rick Allen. That’s an embarrassing revelation for another time.

Mondays are for Wankers

ElvisIt’s Monday, and you know what that means… it’s time to push that rock of content up the endless hill of life. It’s also time to revel in the rhythmic delights of Declan Patrick MacManus (AKA Elvis Costello) and his solemnly realistic fantasy-bursting reality-screamer, Welcome to the Working Week.

Arriving at track one, side one from his debut album, My Aim is True, Welcome to the Working Week is a playful pass of judgment to the 9-to-5’ers; the head-crushing business men and women of our land pushing papers so that the fat have the means to get fatter.

Side oneWelcome to the Working Week, it’s album, My Aim is True, and pretty much ANYTHING by Elvis Costello comes highly recommended by the Groove.

If you haven’t spoiled yourself with the sweet musical nectar of “the other Elvis,” I’ll pass judgment and offer these words spoken by the man himself:

You gotta’ do it till you’re through it so you better get to it.