Tag Archives: records

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A Nutritiously Balanced Vinyl Breakfast

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GB IIBeginning around 1962, the flexi disc, or phonosheet, has been a low cost, low quality audio option for anything from Beatles Christmas “thank you’s” to fan club members, to a message from Biz Markie wedged inside issue #2 of Grand Royal Magazine that I need to dig out of the closet, to information on The New Ghostbusters Movie Mystery Sweepstakes found on specially marked cereal boxes back in 1989.

Only slightly thicker than a piece of paper, the flexi disc was a reasonable medium for offering audio, be it songs or clues on how to meet a REAL Ghostbuster, from unconventional sources. I imagine few of you to equate a box of breakfast with a vinyl record, but who knows. I’ve been surprised before. Once… he turns 9 this October. I joke.

This particular flexi disc boasts a chance for a very lucky participant to become an honorary member of the Ghostbuster’s team. (Really, it was just a cheap ploy to get people into theaters to see Ghostbusters 2.) All the groggy-eyed, little elementary school twerp needed to do was answer the following questions on a 3×5 card (apparently any other sized card would result in immediate disqualification from the mystery sweepstakes) and mail the answers along with their name, age and address, including zip code, and telephone number to the following address:

The New Ghostbusters Movie Mystery Sweepstakes

PO Box 4029

Beverly Hills, CA 90213-4029

Question 1: Name the woman who works in the art museum, who is Peter Venkman’s girlfriend.

Question 2: At what holiday does the big bust happen at the end of the movie?

Question 3: What US monument do the Ghostbusters work from to save the city?

Cheap ploy or not, I miss the days when I could stroll into a Piggly Wiggly and walk out with a record. For those of you dying to hear (what sounds like) the voice actor of Egon Spengler from The Real Ghostbusters cartoon show, a video of the record can be found here.

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When Time Stands Still

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Beatles ClockWhen time stands still, all the Strawberry Alarm Clocks will be set to snooze. Your weekend getaway plans of getting drunk on girlie drinks while sitting poolside in the middle of the desert will seem that much further away.  Depending on when Father Time decided to take his much-needed break, you could relive a wonderful moment, like say, in the embrace of a loved one, or on the flipside, you could be stuck watching a desperate and unnerving rerun of Airwolf.

When time stands still, rent is free, no one dies, and the fruit on the kitchen table doesn’t go bad. When time stands still, it’s time to replace the battery.

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Freewheelin’ on a Tuesday

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TuesdayEvery once in a while on a gloomy Tuesday in Southern California, the mood for pop punk/emo strikes. It’s not often, but when those emotionally overcast skies offer no inspiration, it’s nice to know Tuesday is there to offer their slow-rolling brand of catchy, youthful memory inspiring groove music.

Perhaps known best for being the band Dan Andriano from Alkaline Trio played in before joining Alkaline Trio, Tuesday existed for little over a year and produced only one EP, Early Summer and one full length, Freewheelin’.

Releasing their entire catalog in 1997, Tuesday showcases the upbeat and darker side of Midwestern life, and shouldn’t be incorrectly lumped in with 2000-era, “cutting yourself for attention” Emo. Emo in the mid/late 90s held a completely different connotation than it does today. We called Fugazi Emo, if that gives you any idea of how deformed and self-righteous the term has become.

Tuesday is here but one day a week. Embrace the negatives of this world once in a while. You’ll gain a much more clear perspective on how great your life really is… that, or you’ll jumpstart that downward spiral you’ve been trying to avoid for nearly 15 years. Either way, Tuesday is there when you need them.

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Game: What’s the Difference?

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When I was a youngster, I absolutely loved those “can you spot the difference?” games in the back of magazines that presented two, almost identical pictures side by side, where in which the object was to find the subtle differences between the two pictures. I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered, almost by accident, that several of the doubles in my collection were different issues, and therefore had very subtle differences. I thought to myself, hmm, why not create a “can you spot the difference?’ game for the readers of The Prudent Groove?

Presented below are five pictures, each picture containing two albums. Can you spot the difference between them? Answers to each are located in the comments… DON’T CHEAT!Alpert

Galactic Funk

Ill

Cypress Hill

CCR

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The Mushroom Cloud of Similarities AKA The Land of Trait and Honey

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The Land of Trait and Honey1988, with all its impotence and social frustrations, was a pretty damn outstanding year for music. Today we’re going to focus on (albeit very briefly because, let’s face it, I’ve got things to do) two outstanding works of Industrial fusion helmed from the prolific production due that was once known as Luxa Pan Productions. Very quickly, for those of you who have been living in a K-Mart dressing room for the past 25 years, Luxa Pan (Hypo Luxa and Hermes Pan, respectively) were the monikers of Al Jourgensen and Paul Barker. Sorry to be redundant for those to whom this fact is obvious… moving on.

In 1988, Ministry (Jourgensen/Luxa, Barker/Pan & crew) released the consciously alarming The Land of Rape and Honey. Also released in 1988 was Trait by Pailhead. Luxa Pan Productions was/is known for their excessive side projects, and their teaming with Minor Threat/Fugazi frontman, Ian MacKaye to form Pailhead is one of these bountiful side gigs.

Ok, so, FINALLY getting to the meat and potatoes of this damned post. Take a look at the pic of both covers at the top. Both albums were released the same year (1988), and both featured masterminds Jourgensen and Barker. Do the covers seem a bit similar to you? Something like a mushroom cloud, right? “Yes?” You reply with a vague tone. Ok, now take a look at the pic below.

The Land of Trait and Honey_InvertedBy converting to grayscale and inverting the colors to The Land of Rape and Honey, you can clearly see the stark similarity between these two covers. I’m racking my brain on what this could mean. Did the boys just dig an ambiguous mushroom cloud image, enough to reproduce it on two different album covers by two “different” bands? Maybe. Did their excessive drug use drain them of their creative juices leaving them to repurpose an old idea? I don’t think so.

Here’s my thought. 1988 opened the door for a tsunami-sized wave of creative output by the Luxa Pan team (focusing solely on albums released between 1988 and 1993), and this mushroom cloud was a symbol for an explosion of releases that would define the career of both Al Jourgensen and Paul Barker.

Ministry - LPAllow me to briefly break it down: Three albums by Revolting Cocks (You Goddamned Son of a Bitch, Beers, Steers, and Queers, and Linger Fickin’ Good), three albums by LARD (LARD, The Last Temptation of Reid, and Pure Chewing Satisfaction), a release by PTP, two released by 1000 Homo DJs (Apathy, and Supernaut) three by Lead into Gold (Idiot, Age of Reason, and Chicks & Speed: Futurism), four albums by Ministry (The Land of Rape and Honey, The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste, In Case You didn’t Feel Like Showing Up, and Psalm 69: The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs) and finally, two releases by Pailhead (I Will Refuse and Trait). So, if my overly simplified calculations are correct (and they probably aren’t), in the span of only six years, Luxa Pan Productions produced a total of 18 albums. The mind boggles in its feeble attempt to process this information.

Whether these covers were foreshadowing the brilliant work of two insanely talented musicians, or it was simply an overanalyzed coincidence, 1988 ignited a bonfire under Luxa Pan Productions, the flames of which are still burning strong to this day.Pailhead - LP

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Stereophonic & Monaural Audiotester

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Audiotester HeadIn my attempted efforts to find something ornery and contemptuous about Audiotex’s Stereo and Monophonic Audiotester, I discovered that this rather expensive audio testing tool ($38.69 today, or the ridiculous price of the new Daft Punk album) is a visual work of late 1950s design/graphic art.

Inception was big in the late 50s, early 60s. Hard at work in his audio laboratory, the technician on the cover is skillfully testing his own copy of Audiotex’s Stereo and Monophonic Audiotester. Do tests need testing? Anyway, I absolutely adore the layout of this album. The white/red/saturated blue cover (that was obviously pieced together like a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald holding a rifle on the cover of Life magazine), and the tuning fork and sound wave influenced Audiotex logo are just a few marvels found within this front sleeve.

Audiotester TailThe back to this riveting test record is just as visually absorbing. Breaking down the necessary tests for both stereophonic and monaural phonographs with overly simplified, 1959 phonographics (I just made that up), the bullet-pointed basics offered from this record are presented in an easy to understand, and visually engaging layout. From the turntable rumble test (stereo) to the tone arm resonance test (mono), this audiophile worthy test record is essential for even the novice record collector.

As you can see, I’m a sucker for nostalgia that I had absolutely no part of. For me, the red/black/white color palette is always a favorite, and it’s always a treat to discover phonographic-heavy, and time-capsule-like records.

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High Fidelity Recording Ultra-Phonic Sound Sleeve

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Tops InsertTOPS Records, and their “High Fidelity Recording Ultra-Phonic Sound” don’t want your records to get cold, so they conveniently offer “this specially designed protective envelope.”

Without your knowing, the sleeveless records in your prolific collection have been coming down with the vinyl flu (it’s been going around). Thankfully, sobby noses and sleepless nights are a thing of the past with this futuristic record protector by TOPS Records.

Tops LogoYour records give you so much unconditional joy… give back. Keep them warm. Make sure each and every licorice disc is kept safe and secure with its own protective envelope from TOPS Records. TOPS Records… clothes for music.

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The Stripper and Other Fun Songs for the Family

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StripperNothing speaks more about wholesome, politically indifferent, red-blooded American family values quite like strippers. Grab the kids, pop some corn, and don’t forget to break that 10-spot for a stack of singles, because honey, we’ve got one-hell-of-a show a-brewin’!

David Rose and His (magnificent) Orchestra play, rather seductively, 12 of the most luring, enticing, sweaty, and questionably hygienic, hussy music ever performed this side of the Clark County line, AND, they do it for the whole family. The youngins will be excited because they’ll think milk is on the way, the Grade Schoolers will look on with that awkward, puzzled, and “the real world is a farce! Make it stop!” look, the teenagers will stare at the floor the entire time as not to, um… raise any suspicions, and the folks will gleefully sip on their overpriced drinks and gaze upon the sea of soon to be emotionally scarred children and think to themselves, “should we get a dog?”

The Stripper's BacksideDavid Rose and His Orchestra Play The Stripper and Other Fun Songs for the Family is not only a very long and tedious title to write, it’s also perfect for those late nights with your significant other when the fire is glowing, and you collectively conclude that raising a child in this world is not only a disgusting idea, it’s patriotic, and that birth control really is the work of the devil (don’t we all have nights like that?).

Also, doesn’t David Rose look an awful lot like Victor Laszlo?

Photo on right courtesy of Warner Bros. DVD, VLC player and shift+command+4.

Photo on right courtesy of Warner Bros. DVD, VLC player and shift+command+4.

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Cookin’ Up Hits

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Cookin' Up HitsIt’s a bright, balmy Saturday, so step away from your illuminated screen and get outside and enjoy the exhaust-laden air!

If you happen to find yourself in a less than ideal climate, or the mystics and wonders of the outdoors don’t appeal to your ornate senses, may I suggest a little culinary calisthenics?

Liz Anderson, with all her digestible wisdom, offers up 12 hysterically ardent recipes full of tears, sorrow, heartache, cumin, and remorse. Liz’s whimsical approach and articulated wordplay border on the line of congenial, 60s Country and youthful Singer-songwriter music, but you know, with a lace apron. A slide guitar is sprinkled in for that down-home flavor, which helps to give this mouthwatering entrée of emotional ear food an elevated, ethereal intonation. Think Patsy Cline, drunk, in the kitchen, insufficiently attempting to restrain herself from dumping a bag of flour onto the floor and calling it a day.Warming Up

Sometimes the mind gets hungry for heartache-y, overly sensitive, and beautifully sung mood music. Chef Anderson certainly knows her way around agony’s kitchen, and Cookin’ Up Hits is a perfect recipe for any, less than optimal dinner occasion.

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Wax Trax! Records Insert from 1986

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Wax Trax 1986 InsertFeatured today is one of the four (possibly five) different, albeit only to the trained eye, Wax Trax! Records inserts in my collection. It emerged from the deepest, and most sobering crevasses known to man (Luc Van Acker’s Heart and Soul, aka WAX018).

Listing the catalogue at only 18 albums (only 17 that were available at the time), this insert can be carbon dated to the fruitful, yet sardonically demonizing, year of 1986. In 1986, one could rest comfortably knowing they could, at any time, order the Al Jourgensen produced (Ministry, Revolting Cocks, Pailhead, Acid Horse, 1000 Homo DJs, Lard, PTP, Special Affect) Blackouts 12”, Lost Soul’s Club for only $5. (Which, in today’s world would only yield you a pint of half & half or a smug retort.) Found amongst the seminal releases from the grandfathers of the label are four different Wax Trax! Records t-shirts, many with varying sizes and colors. Those are $7, or about the value of two stamps today.

Wax Trax 1986 Insert BackThis is the 2nd Wax Trax! Records insert post from The Groove, and unless there is one hidden amongst my Ferrante & Teicher albums, this insert from 1986 is my oldest.

That is all. Have a good Friday.

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The Hump Day Twist

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Twist CoverIt’s Wednesday folks. Congratulations! You’ve made it to hump day. Why not celebrate with The Peppermint Twist? What’s that? You don’t like peppermint? Too sweet, huh? Trying to cut back on your calorie intake? I understand. Then why not indulge your twisting senses with The Shimmy, or the elusive Quarter to Three? Feeling spry from that 7th cup of coffee? Then The Hoochie Coochie Coo is certainly right for you.

Twist BackAngry but still fill the need to multitask? Why not let it out with the Twist and Shout? Do you have a crush on the mail courier but are too shy to read your hastily written love letter? Then how could you resist the Dear Lady Twist?

The Surgeon General says that twisting at least 10 minutes per day will actually help to reduce those unwanted, and often awkward moments of spontaneous narcolepsy, and studies have shown that twisticizing (or practicing SLIMNASTICS) 3-4 days a week will help prevent Restless Leg Syndrome.

Combo NewMy favorite is a little hidden bender called The Time Travel Twist. You won’t find it amongst the 12 All Time Twist Hits, and it requires a bit of detective work, but I’ll break it down for you. It’s simple, really. The Time Travel Twist is that little side-to-side you do after you remove the 1975 sleeve to unveil the 1962 record within. EVERYBODY NOW! THE TIME TRAVEL TWIST-TWIST! TWIST! THE TIME TRAVEL TWIST!

I’m serious, folks. Treat yourself to a twist now and again. You’ve earned it!

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Columbia Records Sleeve

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Columbia Records InsertIn lieu of today’s biggest release in the history of Columbia Records (which is an argument to be had, I know), I present a simple, yet elegantly designed sleeve from 196?

Using repetition, and a simple (not to mention inexpensive) two-color layout, the designers at Columbia Records produced an elegant piece of 1960’s design in the often hidden form of a protective record sleeve.

As you can plainly see, the Columbia Records logo is subtly patterned on either side of the centered, Columbia Records name. There is no question that a bold white line amongst a sea of orange logos was designed specifically to demand attention from the eye, and only after you’ve read the text do you realize the tiny logo creating the hemispheric patterns.

If you haven’t already, go out and pick up a copy of Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories. When you leaf through the futuristic (2013) album, think back to the mountainous Columbia Records catalog, and how simple, yet tasteful, their design (and musical) history was.

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New Miracle

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BubbleThe word “miracle” seldom permeates from my vocabulary. I need not describe it, as I assume you understand the monumental weight of its meaning. So when I stumbled upon a 78 that describes a record using the word “miracle,” I instantly expected 1) to be granted the ability to fly, 2) for my student loans to disappear, or 3) some other supernormal impossibility. What I reluctantly found, however, was a misguided marketing ploy by Tops for Tots Records.

New MiracleTops for Tots Records was a “kiddie record” series released by Tops Records (formed in 1947, bankrupt and sold to Pickwick Records in 1963).  This short lived label promoted “unbreakable kiddie records” in the 7” format, but arrogantly threw around the word “miracle” as if it were handing out coupons for free belly dancing lessons. This “miracle” allows the contents of a 10” 78rpm record to exist as a 7” 78rpm record. That’s it. Much like this post, the expectation greatly exceeds the result.

This copy was owned by a woman named Linda, who was either very young, or never got around to learning the fundamentals of writing letters. I hope Linda enjoyed Around the World on a Bubble and Little Patriot Songs, and I fancy the notion that her little bubble wasn’t popped upon the harsh realization that this record in fact did not contain a miracle.

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The Best, Biggest Bargains on Record!

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Warner CoverWarner/Reprise Records took a bit of a risk in late 1969/early 1970. Not only did they offer double LP comps for only $2 (at a time when single LPs went between $4 and $5), but also their “The best, biggest bargains on record!” campaign promoted exclusive albums at insanely discounted prices that were only available via this innersleeve. AND, as if that weren’t enough, their ingenious, cunning, and dear I say crackerjack copywriters presented this financially hazardous campaign with the youthful exuberance found only from the likes of Peggy Olson.

Here are a few examples of how fascinating “The best, biggest bargains on record!” campaign is, including, but not limited to, jokes and sarcastic dialogue (dialogue, from an insert?):

– Offering a coupon printed on the sleeve itself, Warner/Reprise suggests that the protective sleeve that was provided in a previously purchased Warner/Reprise album be destroyed and used to order more records.

– “To expedite your order, and to foil the fools in the mail room…”

– “Dear Fat Cats: Yes, please send…”

– “We can get away with that low price because these celebrated artists and this benevolent record company have all agreed not to make a profit on this venture.”

– “If our Accounting Department were running this company, they’d charge you $9.96 for each double album. But they’re not. Yet.”

– “If you want them (indeed, how can you resist?) you have to…”

– “If you’re as suspicious of big record companies as we feel you have every right to be…”

Warner BackIn closing, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the idea for this campaign was introduced. I would have loved to have witnessed the look on the faces of Warner/Reprise Execs, and I would have loved to have shaken the hand of this campaign’s mastermind. (I would also love to pay only $2 for a double LP!)

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SLIMNASTICS

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SlimSummer is swiftly approaching, and you know what that means. It’s time to abandon that pint of Chunky Monkey and drop those lingering “depression pounds” so you can become the best, superficial, objectified, shallow beach snob in all of Los Angeles County!

You’re probably asking yourself, “But how will I lose this row of bicycle tires in time to accept my crown as Big Kahuna of Venice Beach?” SLIMNASTICS is how. SLIMNASTICS is an ancient exercise technique of foolish looking, and ineffective body positions that you can struggle to achieve in the comfort of your own living room (with the lights off and all the shades drawn).

ManSLIMASTICS is designed by Dr. Charles A. Bucher, a guy famous for doing stuff (his resume is on the back sleeve in case you question his academic prodigiousness). With one side of the record devoted for men, and the other for women, Dr. Bucher engulfs your home stereo system and coaches you, step-by-step, on how to touch your toes and lift your arms. He’s offered a series of Picturegrams (I’m pretty sure ol’ Charlie made this word up) that oversimplify the insanely complex technique known as the push-up (among others).

WomanDig through your box of “To Goodwill” clothes and adorn those embarrassingly tight running shorts because Dr. Charles A. Bucher and his award-winning exercise program, SLIMNASTICS, are going to fool you into believing you can achieve social acceptance with a slim, new, beach-friendly body.

(The Prudent Groove is not responsible if you do not achieve social acceptance with your slim, new, beach-friendly body.)

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Payin’ inna travelin’ bain

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JohnCreedence Clearwater Revival is known for their astonishing hooks, John Fogerty’s surmountable voice, and the focus of today’s post, their definitive, coherent lyrics. I present to you, in their entirety, the lyrics to CCR’s 1970 masterpiece, Travelin’ Band, or as I like to call it, Travelin’ Bain.

 

737 commin’ outta’ da sky

Oh’won’tcha take muh down’ta Memphis onna mid-night right-ah

I wown-moo

Hayin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

But I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain

Tag me to tha hotel

Baggage gone, oh well

Come own, come own, won’tcha get me to my roo

I wown-moo

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

Well I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain

Lizard to the radio

Tom and Bob the last show

Summon got excited had to call state Melissa

I wown-moo

Hayin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

But I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain, oh-wow

Hair we come a gain onna’ Saturday night

Oh well yo fussin’ and yo fightin’

Won’t you get meh to the rye

I wown-moo

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain, yeah

Well I’m flyin’ ‘cause I lead, try to get a hair

Bayin’ inna travelin’ bain, oh-wow

Oil payin’ inna travelin’ bain

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain

Wanda get me tell my hair

But I’m payin’ inna travelin’ bain

And I’m fine ‘cause I laugh, try to get a hair

Payin’ inna travelin’ bain, oh-wow

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Missing George

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Missing George

George Harrison is missing. He’s gone and, to be frank, I’m not sure he’s coming back. No note was left, not even a casual scribble on a matchbook. He may have left word with Paul, Ringo or John, but as you can see, the boys aren’t talking.

Well, what about the music, you ask? The music is safe and sound. And the sleeve? The sleeve is fine… for now. No, the only missing party to my copy of 1968’s The Beatles is George Harrison.

I can’t blame him for going rogue, what, with all the majestic wonders that await an eager traveler in their visceral quest towards discovery of the vast, colorful world that exists outside my music library. In perspective, I’m surprised this odyssey into the arousing unknown wasn’t made sooner.

George Harrison is gone. I must come to peace with this. George Harrison, is gone.

We miss you George. We wish you well, but most importantly, we all hope you remembered to pack a handkerchief for your bemoaning 6-string. The boys and I will be fine. Write when you can, and may your new home offer everything you couldn’t find here.

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Listen To Your World

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Listen to Your World(Imagine a 33-year-old American male speaking directly to you, or to a camera, in a calm, soothing tone.)

When you purchase a used album, you really never know what you’re going to get. (Takes a few steps forward and smiles.) Hello, this is X from The Prudent Groove.

Not unlike downloading an album without the proper metadata, and we all know how annoying THAT can be, am I right?! (Takes a beat.) The level of quality attributed to a used record you find at say, a thrift store, is based solely on the mindset, (Beat.) and general care of its previous owner. (Looks down, then back up. Puts hands in pockets.)

Was the previous owner a neat freak who housed each of their cherished albums in overpriced, protective sleeves like we do here at The Groove? (Cocks head as to ponder this question.) Did they use the front jacket as a temporary table for rolling dried relaxation plants? (Beat.) Were they careless and used the back cover as a coaster, leaving a circular ring of ancient coffee above the “we’re trying to look casual” picture of the band? (Lets out a slight chuckle.)

These questions, and any others you may have of a record’s previous owner, will fall upon deaf ears, and the answers will only exist within our own imaginations. (Sits down on a chair. Where did the chair come from?)

Take for example this A&M Records insert I found inside my copy of Johnny Cash & Jerry Lee Lewis’ Sunday Down South album on Sun Records. (Holds up record, not pictured here.) The previous owner either didn’t care, or didn’t notice that the insert didn’t match the album. Not a very big deal as the record is in pristine shape. (Chuckles.) The previous owner probably didn’t enjoy the music and never played it, and THAT’S why it’s in such good shape. (Stands back up and begins walking.)

A&M Records Sleeve“Listen To Your World” is a clear-headed marketing slogan from A&M Records that suggests “your world” (Does quotes with his fingers… incorrectly.) can only be found on A&M Records. Clever girl. (Says in terrible British accent.) The flipside to this slogan showcases some pretty heavy-hitters from the A&M catalogue. (Looks down at insert as if to read.) Cat Stevens, Herb Alpert, Humble Pie, Quincy Jones and Burt Bacharach to name a few. With no date affixed to this insert, the words, “Listen To Your World” seem to become as timeless as some of the classic releases found on A&M Records. Coupled with the bold, white text on a basic, black background, this modern day musical proverb is a strong, and I hope profitable, marketing campaign for A&M Records, one that I’m happy I stumbled upon in an almost unorthodox manner.

Take a little mental trip on your next hunt through your local second hand store, and give a distinctive personality to that record you can’t live without. (Puts hands in pockets and smiles.) The album, like the music, exists as an entity in and of itself. Give it a history, and your collection will come to life in ways you never imagined.

This has been X from The Prudent Groove. (Smiles and puts hands on hips.) I’ll see you here tomorrow. Have a great afternoon. (Walks away in an awkward, no idea where he is stroll.)

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Giving A Gift? Give Records!

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KappHave a nephew who’s grown tired of his plastic Slinky because it’s lost its slink? Consider cheering him up with a beautiful “My Gift To You” box from Kapp Records. With over six “magnificent gift packages to choose from” (exactly seven), your gracious nephew will be the envy of every kid on his block for years… strike that, DECADES to come.

Got a friend who’s down in the dumps because his fiancé forgets to shut the cupboard doors each time she opens them? (#sniff) Why not surprise him with “the one gift everybody will love every day of the year”? With these perfect gift boxes, you can even customize the wrapping on the box! (Well, as customizable as choosing between either red-and-gold or silver-and-blue wraps.)

With such chart topping, breakout artists as Roger Voisin and the Chad Mitchell Trio, “My Gift To You” boxes by Kapp Records are ideal gifts for even those of your classy friends who don’t really enjoy music. Forget giving people what they want, give them a “My Gift To You” box from Kapp Records. They truly are “the perfect gift for every occasion.”